That’s why it’s always good to have an objective second, third, or fourth person with “fresh eyes” to look at your material. That person can see things that you can no longer see. If you don’t have a second person to look at your work, then you should put it aside for a while to give your memory’s eye time to forget what it thinks it sees. Then you can go back and see with “fresh eyes” — as if you’re that second person.
Anyway, that’s what I’m trying to do now… I’m trying to wait; and, as I told you before, patience is not my strong suit.
In the meantime, I’m trying to think of a way to summarize this second book. Basically, it deals with how hard it is for some to accept the consequences of their actions… while others accept the blame for things that are beyond their power to control.
It’s interesting to see this play out in reality. If these two types happen to find each other, they may make a compatible team — one always blaming the other and the other willing to accept the blame — but for the most part, we simply pass that hot potato of blame down to some unsuspecting person further down the blame line...
Blaming others is contagious and is passed along like a virus. Merely being exposed to someone blaming you of something causes you to want to turn around and blame someone else. Blame is like that hot potato you pass down to the next player who gets burned. The last person in line finds himself being blamed for some completely unrelated failure — to which he has no defense.
If everyone in this game gets burned, why do so many people play along?
The motivations behind this blame game are natural. As we’ve said before, there is a human need to be accepted and liked. Most people want to look good in the eyes of their friends, family, coworkers, etc., so they don’t want to bear the shame of being responsible for a problem — to be viewed as less than perfect. In the workplace, being responsible for an error may carry with it penalties, such as reprimands, pay deductions, demotions, terminations, etc. As a result, people will pass the blame on rather than dealing with it, which can be especially frustrating for people who are genuinely not involved with the issue.
The temptation is huge to keep passing the buck and point the finger elsewhere when you make a mistake — after all, everyone else does it. Just because everyone else does it, doesn't make it the right thing to do. Just because it’s easier to pass the blame on to someone else, doesn’t make it the right thing to do.
Anyway... I'm thinking of starting the book with this little thought:
The Blame Game
I was told that
Every good story
Needs a bad guy
Someone to blame
Someone to dislike
Someone to fight against
But on whom do I place blame
When it’s me
Who is wrong?
Who do I dislike
When it’s me
Who has done the harm?
Who do I fight against
If it’s me
Who’s being mean?
On whom do I place blame
If it’s me
Who’s the bad guy?
Yes, who do I find to blame?
.
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