OH, NO YOU DIDN’T!!!

I’ve shared with you that I volunteer with an e-mentoring program.   It’s a way to help hundreds/thousands of students as they transition from junior high to high school and out into the adult world.

I’m working with a number of super kids this year — very bright, intuitive, caring, and confident. 

Let me give you a quick example:

One of the assignments asked the mentees to answer the following question:  

“Is there anyone your age who has a job that you envy or a job that you know will help them get into college or into better employment? Describe the job that you envy.  Could you find a similar job for yourself? Why or why not?”

 

When I first read that question, I saw red... really RED!  All I could think of was:

OH, NO YOU DIDN’T!!!

The problem with the program's question is that it sets up the impression that it’s acceptable to feel envious of another’s good fortune — without re-enforcing the importance of the warning signals behind such a feeling.  It opens a door into a darkened room, without making any attempt to shed light on the issues that underlie feelings of envy and jealousy.
 
The best test of a healthy self-image is how excited and pleased you are when something good happens to another.  Am I as excited about your good fortune as you are?  If I’m not, then I’m struggling with insecurities and doubts about my self-image.   

Even if the organization doesn’t get it, my students do!  I just love one of my student’s answer to this question. 

She wrote:  “… and if my friends did have a good job, I wouldn't envy them; I would be proud for them.”

I’m really proud of her, and she’s just one of the amazing kids I’ve met through this volunteer program.  

[As a side note:  I emailed the organization and asked if they could reconsider the wording of that particular question.  We'll see what response I get from them.]

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