Work Friendships

A friend of mine from work has decided to resign from our place of employment.  She’s in her mid-20s and is preparing for a new and exciting phase of her life — a phase in which our current place of employment no longer fits.

She’s been unhappy with our work environment for quite some time now and has been planning to leave… but this week, she actually stamped a date on this plan. 

When she announced the date— while it brought her relief, liberation, and closure on something she has been struggling with for a long time — it brought me to tears. 

Although I am very happy for her — because she has her whole life in front of her, which is full of new adventures and challenges — I am sad for myself.  I am sad, not because I’m left behind, but because I will miss my work-buddy.

I’ve learned over the years that work relationships are difficult to maintain outside of the work environment. 

Workplace friendships are so amazing!  We spend so much confined and concentrated time with our work-buddies that we can’t help but discover the good and bad behaviors of each individual — including the good and bad behaviors within ourselves.

Where else can we find an eclectic group of individuals forced to spend at least a third (if not more) of their lives together in the pursuit of making enough money to support the other two-thirds of their lives? 

These individuals do not “choose” their work-partners.  The working relationship is forged simply to supply some type of good or service to a paying public.  Most of the co-workers never knew each other before being corralled into their office cubicles and meeting rooms.

Because their sole purpose for being together is to make enough money to enjoy the rest of their lives, the friendships made here are mostly functional and somewhat superficial.  Although they call each other friends, they are merely business associates. 

Don’t get me wrong.  Some work acquaintances can develop into meaningful relationships, although not many follow that path.  The true test is when either I or one of my work buddies leaves the workplace.  Do we stay in touch?  Does the friendship survive after one of us is released from the corporate confinement of the cubicle?

My friend and I are soon to find out the answer to that question.  I think we have a better chance than most, because we value our friendship to each other… but life tends to get in the way of even the best-made plans and best of intentions…

What makes it so difficult to keep work friendships alive is that the ties that had bound the relationship together are no longer enforced.  There is no longer a common goal, a common code of conduct, or a common enemy.  Once a person is released from the chain-gang, rarely is there mention of the former cellmate.

This abandonment is devastating for most.  For so many people, their job defines who they are.  When I first meet a person, I introduce myself as what I do: I am an auditor, an editor, a housewife, a teacher, a student, a web designer, a performer, etc.  Take that identifier away from me and who am I?

When a person leaves a job, s/he not only leaves the income but the prestige — the title or identifier that came with the position.  If that is not depressing enough, add to that, when s/he loses the job, s/he also loses office friends — the people with whom s/he shared her/his work-life.  For a couple of weeks, there may be some emails going back and forth, but after that, silence — out of sight, out of mind.  It is sad to see how leaving a job translates to losing friends and losing your identity. 

I hope this doesn’t happen with my friend and me, because our friendship has become very addictive.  When my friend isn’t around, I feel an emptiness in me.  It hurts to lose contact with a true friend.  It isn’t easy to replace. 

So, yeah, although I’m happy for her, I’m sad for myself…



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