Why Won’t Hope Just Leave Me Alone?

As I fall asleep each night, I’ve been listening to “positive-thinking hypnosis tapes” — to keep my spirits up.  

I’ve been preparing myself to weather more silence and rejection from this new wave of publisher queries.

Yep, I’ve been mentally preparing myself… by asking Hope to leave me alone for a while.  If I don’t expect publishers to respond back to me, then I won’t be disappointed when they don’t.

It’s ironic, isn’t it?  Night after night, I fall asleep to faceless strangers whispering to me that I make a difference and that I matter — while, during the day, I’m dealing with faceless publishers showing me that I’m invisible and have nothing to offer them — all because I want to publish books that encourage people to share themselves with others and make a difference to those around them… 

Yep… I’m just going through the motions right now, not getting my hopes up…

I thought I had it all under control… until one of the publishers had the audacity to write us a hand-written encouraging letter of hope, telling us how much she enjoyed our book and how we filled the pages with love and experience.  She wished her company could help us but the genre doesn’t fit their listing, at this time — but she hoped that we find a really good home for our book.

A publisher who is recognized as the leading publisher on autism and Asperger syndrome contacted us to let us know that she received our proposal and that she will read it, discuss it with her partners, and let us know if our children's book is right for them.  They will get back with me in about six weeks. 

In both cases, there were no promises of publication made, and yet…

These two contacts—as short and unpromising as they were — lit the flame of hope and optimism in me again.  (damn it...)

Why won’t Hope just leave me alone?

It's because Hope has made a permanent home in my heart.

Hope will never leave me.

Damn it!

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