I picked up another book on relationships, titled "Dear Lover: A woman’s guide to men, sex, and love’s deepest bliss." This is a very intimate book by David Deida. I hesitate to recommend it because you’d need to be at a certain level to appreciate his perspective. You’d have to be open to surrendering yourself to his energy and trust he’ll take you where you yearn to be…
Katherine suggested the book, and since I trust her judgment — and since she DID use the words “must read it” — I picked up a copy from Amazon.
While I was there, I checked out the reviews on this and on his other books. Most were positive, but there was one that was… well, here’s just a portion of it:
“It's difficult to write what I feel about this book. I read as much of it as I could stomach and then threw it into the trash in the hope no one would ever find it. This man, the author, is either terminally misled or has an ego the size of the universe. He knows how women feel? Excuse me? When was he a woman? I pity the poor woman who reads this and accepts it hook, line, and sinker. He is so off base as to be laughable, if I didn't worry that some women would actually take him seriously.”
So, just from the few reviews I scanned, I’m sure that the book will hit a core with most people. Whether, it resonates with you in a positive or negative way, I can’t guess — but I’m enjoying the book.
I actually started reading it while waiting in a car repair shop — and yes, I’m still dealing with the same car issue, but this time I’ve gone to a DIFFERENT repair shop. Wish me good luck with this go-around…
Anyway… back to the book. It was interesting reading such an intimate book in this masculine-filled setting.
Picture this: It’s 7:00 in the morning. The sun has barely broken through the morning’s fog. I walk into the repair shop, carrying with me a book titled Dear Lover. The manager checks me in, I surrender my keys and car to him, and I sit down to wait… and wait… and wait.
I open Deida’s book and scanned through the Forward and Introduction. Normally, I wouldn’t have even read those sections, but since Katherine had suggested the book, I thought I had better read those pages, too…
It wasn’t until I got to the first chapter that I started feeling the intimate power of the book — and the fact that I was sitting in the environment surrounded by men was a bit unnerving…
Because of the activity around me, I couldn’t just let Deida’s words pour over me. Instead, I kept flowing back and forth between David’s spiritual place he was taking me to and this physical place I was tied to — this waiting room filled with strangers’ voices and sounds of banging of metal, clicking of computer keys, and jangling of car keys…
What was really interesting was, as I drifted in and out of these two worlds, I carried a bit if each to the other, and the men in the room responded. The two guys behind the counter couldn’t have been more attentive to me, if they had tired!
The guy in the waiting room started up a conversation with me. It started with our concerns about our respective car problems and transformed into a discussion about appreciation for integrity and trust. He shared his hopes and dreams for his two teenagers…
Before we knew it, his car was fixed and mine… well, wasn’t. My car needed a part that needed to be ordered, but instead of having me wait 5 hours for the part to show up (like the other place did), one of the mechanics offered to drive me home. They also made sure I had a way back…
As I waited for my ride, the “waiting-room gentleman” was waiting for his car to come out of the garage. We stood in the parking lot together, wrapping up our previous conservation, preparing for our goodbyes.
It sounds weird, but I was sad to leave. It felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend — one who I will not be seeing again…
In that brief time together, we never exchanged names… just our “selves.”
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