Row Your Own Boat…

Years and years ago, I ran across a PBS special with Dr. Wayne Dyer, an internationally best-selling author of more than 30 motivational books.  Something he said struck home with me, and it’s become my mantra of sorts.

He gave an interesting interpretation of the common poem, Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Now, whenever I’m stressing out, upset about someone telling me what I should be doing or what I’m doing wrong — or frustrated because others aren’t doing what I think they should be doing — I chant that poem to myself:

Row, row, row your boat — [Control your own actions instead of trying to control others]

Gently down the stream — [Take things as they come and don’t fret about what lies ahead]

Merrily, merrily, merrily — [Be happy with what you have]

Life is but a dream — [Life is too short; enjoy it while it lasts]

These lines have helped me through many frustrating encounters with family and friends alike.  I know they all mean well, and they want the best for me.  The problem lies in the fact that they really don’t know what’s best for me.  They only know what they would want, if they were in my situation. 

Repeating the poem to myself helps me acknowledge the simple fact that the only person I can control is myself and no one else.

And over the years, I’ve learned that that’s the toughest concept for most of us to accept and practice — to row our own boats.

For example, it’s so easy for us to see what’s going wrong in others' boats.  We’ll even yell across the stream, just to point out what’s wrong with the way others are rowing their boats — i.e., living their lives. 

In the meantime, we’re overlooking what’s happening in our own boats (i.e., lives).   There’s water splashing in as we fight the currents and waves from other boats; we lose track of our oars (e.g., obligations, promises, and commitments to others), because we’re not paying attention to what we’re doing; we’ve forgotten to bring along our life jackets (e.g., family and friends who support us emotionally), because we were too much in a hurry to chase after some stranger downstream.

So, yeah… we’re a bit of a mess… but that doesn’t stop us from telling others what they’re doing wrong…

I should know better!  Really, I should!

There are so many people in my life already telling me what to do, how I should do it, what I’ve been doing wrong, and what I will be doing wrong in the future… and I really don’t like it — not at all. 

So, why do I think it’s acceptable for me to do it to others?

If I want the freedom to row my own boat, gently down the stream, merrily — without confrontation, criticism, or obstruction — I should accept and defend others’ rights to do the same with their own lives.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream 

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