Non-Huggers, Be Forewarned!

I was in a silly mood in water aerobics this morning.  It was just minutes before class, and the several women were still wading in, focusing on finding that perfect spot they’ve picked out for themselves.

One such lady was coming right toward me.  She didn’t seem to see me standing there, because that imaginary spot of hers had her full attention.  If she continued on her current course, she’d have collided into me. 

Foreseeing this, I could have moved… but I didn’t. 

I simply stood there with my arms outstretched, with a silly grin on my face, waiting for some reaction from her…

Still nothing from her… 

She just kept coming.

So, I stood there, arms outstretched, acting as the pool’s silent, silly-grinning tollgate.

It wasn’t until she was just inches away that she finally noticed me.  She stared at me for a couple of seconds — expecting me to move — but, then, she saw my silly grin.

Her facial expression changed as things started to register with her.  She stretched out her arms as well, and gave me the hug I was waiting for.  Only then, was she allowed to pass.

She commented that her husband and she just had a conversation about this same thing at breakfast this morning.  Her husband is from a family that regularly hugs each other.  She, on the other hand, came from a family that never hugged each other — so she’s not used to all this hugging.  Her husband simply told her that she’ll just have to get used to it.

That opened up a “hug” discussion among the group.  The instructor mentioned that, years ago, her daughter dated a young man who grew up in a family that didn’t hug.  Her family is a hugging family.  At first, whenever this guy came to family functions, he was uncomfortable when he was treated as “part of the hugging family.”  This “young man” is, now, the instructor’s son-in-law; and he’s been converted.  He simply surrenders to the hugs…

The rest of the ladies’ stories ended the same way.  Between the battle of the huggers and the non-huggers, the huggers always won over their opponents. 

I came from a non-hugging family, so it’s not surprising that the first — and best, in my humble opinion — inspirational/motivational speaker I latched onto was Leo Buscaglio, Ph.D. — aka "Dr. Love."  He also was an author and a professor in the Department of Special Education at the University of Southern California.

While at the University, he always took an interest in his students.  One week, he noticed that one of his more responsive students was missing for several of his classes.  Because he missed her inquisitive face, he asked around and learned that she had committed suicide. 

This news devastated Leo.  He never wanted to lose another student to suicide, again.  Because of that, he focused on how important human connection was to life.  He began a non-credit course called Love 1A, which focused on the need for human connection, arguing that social bonds are essential to transcending the stresses of everyday life.  Human contact enriched life and crossed communication gaps between generations. 

He’s written a number of books — and each book embraces you with his humor, his humanness, his genuineness, and his love for life and humanity.  His work is most closely associated with the topic of love and human relationships, emphasizing the value of positive human touch — especially hugs.

This association with hugging became his trademark at lectures.  After each presentation, thousands of people would line up and stand patiently, waiting to hug him.  He wouldn’t leave until the last person was hugged.  Many times, the recipients of the hugs would tell him that they couldn’t remember the last time they were hugged… it had been that long ago. 

Leo died in 1998, but you can still experience his life-giving energy through his books and even view him on YouTube. 

If you take the time to get to know him through his books and videos, you’ll see how amazingly giving he was to everyone.

And I often wonder…

What would the world be like if we all had someone like Leo in our families — an expressive and loving family member who constantly told us how wonderful we are and how wonderful life is, and who was never afraid to share his feelings or give away hugs every chance he got?

And from my little survey in the pool today, I’m feeling confident that Leo’s hugging campaign is alive and well… in more and more people.

So, non-huggers, be forewarned.  We’re coming after you!

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