To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected

Last month, in the blog post, “True Listening is Love in Action,” I introduced the book, The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. M. Scott Peck. 

In his book, Dr. Peck, discusses the attributes that — in his opinion — make for a fulfilled human being, based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and person.  He also encourages us to confront our problems which would enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding.

He subdivides his “wisdom” into three parts:  discipline, love, and grace.  In the earlier post, I discussed the first three parts.

Something happened today that makes me want to talk about the last section… the section on grace.

And I guess it’s fitting that this revelation of mine happened in church…

I’ve sung in various choirs all my life.  Compared to its other choir members, I’m relatively new to this "current" choir — only singing with them for a couple of years, and I am one of the “younger” members in the group…

Today, our choir director put a quartette together — of which I was a member.  After Mass, the director received compliments on how well the quartette sung — comparing us to a professional group from New York, which was very gratifying and appreciated.  The choir director would like to do this more often.

Even with these glowing compliments, the choir director wanted to talk to me after everyone left.

She wanted to talk to me about my “stickiness.”

Me:  “Sticky?  I don’t understand.  What do you mean by stickiness?”

She:    “Well, when Jake started singing your part, I can feel you stiffening up.  You became “sticky.”  Because of that, the psalm didn’t come off as well as it did in practice.  It was still good, just not as good as I know it could have been.”

Me:     “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting Jake to start the psalm.  Cindy mentioned that I should cantor the start, so when Jake started, I was confused… wondering if Cindy said I should or if he should and I got distracted and…it became an ‘oops moment’ — not sure what I was to do.”

She:    “Overall it was good.  No one noticed, and we got compliments.  It’s just next time — and he’ll do it the next time…that’s just him — instead of stiffening up, bring Jake into you and let it all flow together.  It’ll be more connected and flow as one, instead of disconnected.  Your energy influences the group.  If you stiffen up, then it flows through the group and they’ll stiffen up as well, and everything becomes disconnected.  It all flows from you.”

Me:     “I understand how my energy influences the group, and I’m doing the best I can.  It’s hard when I’m surrounded by those who want to take control and others who want to stand out and be the center of attention. 

“It’s hard to bring all the different personalities together — to get that unity and flow within the group… Part of me just wants to disconnect from them, while at the same time connect for the flow — trying not to be distracted by them, but, at the same time, share with them.  It’s hard to balance the two…   

“Because it’s difficult, I end up concentrating on what I can do, which is reach out to the congregation and embrace them with my energy and bring them in.  I know I’m effective at that, because I see it in their faces when I sing to them.”

She:    “It is difficult to balance the disconnection with the connection.  Try thinking of bringing balance to the group by bringing them into you as you do the congregation.  When you sing, imagine your energy flowing over and surrounding everyone and everything.  Think of extending that energy beyond the congregation — pushing it further out and around… encompassing the singers around you, the instrumentalists behind you, and even those beyond the walls of the church.  Shoot for more…” 

Shoot for more...

Our conversation brought me back to what Dr. Peck said in his book—regarding grace and spiritual growth — along with the saying, “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

There is an expectation and responsibility to push ourselves to greater and greater wisdom… to greater and greater effectiveness. 

“To whom much is given, much is expected.”

The choir director didn’t go to Jake and ask him to become more of a team player and sing as part of the group. 

No.  She was asking me to do something that was far more difficult.  She was asking me to use my energy to influence the flow of the group —  not to change the individuals in the group but to balance the differences within the personalities to create a more cohesive sound. 

And all this is to be done without words… only through my presence, intent, and nonverbal movement and touch within the group…

Is this going to be hard for me?  YES!!!  So, why attempt it?  What if I fail?

There are so many people who live their lives unaware of others.  Why can’t I blend in with them and be one of them?  

Wouldn’t it be easier for me if I could just close myself off and only focus on my time in the spotlight?  Why should I put my energy out there to make the group sound better?  What’s in it for me?  Why extend myself in this manner? 

The answer is simple... but hard to achieve. 

It's because not to do so would display the unwillingness to extend myself to others. 

It would be a barrier to spiritual growth.  It would be the opposite of love.  

And that's not me...

“To whom much is given, much is expected.”

.