Holding My Breath

This part of the process always scares me, not just because I’m opening myself up to criticism — I mean, helpful feedback — but, in this case, I’m mixing my “work life” with my “personal life.” 

What am I talking about?  Nothing as juicy or scandalous as you may think…

I’ve simply asked several coworkers to read the initial Silhouette of a Friendship book and, now, the children’s book… asking for their feedback.

In doing so, I’ve made the conscious decision to reveal the creative and emotional me to those who only deal with the professional and objective me.  

Here is a person (me) who represents herself as one person in the workplace and, suddenly, without warning, offers a view of another side of her personality.  How are they supposed to react to me after that happens?  How am I supposed to function effectively after that happens?

So, asking them to read my books is scary for both them and me.  What if they don’t like what they read?    How are they going to tell me?  Will they tell me or simply avoid the subject altogether?

After they read the book(s), will they see me differently?  Will it be a positive or a negative change?   What if they don’t like what they see?   How will all this affect our “professional relationship”?

Of course, I don’t think of any of this, until AFTER I ask them to read the book(s). 

So, now all I can do is wait... and hold my breath.



.

Before You Know It

Can you believe that we’re at the end of 2010 already?  I can’t!

This is usually the time of year we look back at the year and assess how far we’ve come and make promises to do better in 2011. 

Let’s do something different, today.   Something  totally radical!

Instead of concentrating on the past or the future, let’s — for once in our lives — enjoy today…

Let’s focus on this moment in time.

Let’s enjoy each other... now.

Let’s relish in our dreams.

Let’s be thankful for what we have.

Let’s be there for each other.

Let’s simply enjoy this moment in our lives. 

Because it’ll be gone before you know it…

.

Attention Everyone!!

Here’s an interesting tidbit for you.  Katherine brought up an article that shows how a book can take on Amazon.com, and become a best seller with NO publisher!! 

Well, that article definitely got my attention!

Turns out that two editors (Malki North and Matthew Bennardo) tapped into their fanbase and had their supporters buy a particular book on Amazon.com — on one specific date.  The plan worked so well that their book held the #1 spot on the site all day, and outsold new releases from mega-authors John Grisham and Glenn Beck, and Keith Richard’s autobiography. 

That got us thinking… creatively… as we so often do.  How can we use this technique to get noticed?

We just started to think out loud, wondering:  What would happen if all our friends would email Ellen DeGeneres (http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10) on a specific date — let’s say… January 3 — the first Monday of the New Year — just to wish her a Happy New Year, remind her of our quest to become published authors, and how her help would be greatly appreciated?

Just wondering out loud…  

And what if everyone emailed her around the same time… let’s say 8:00pm (after dinner is done and before the bedtime routines start...) — or any time that works best for you?

Just wondering out loud…

And what if you told her about these two aspiring authors, Anne Marie Girolami and Katherine Abbey, who you've come to know, enjoy, and admire through their blog (http://2aspiringauthors.blogspot.com/) and YouTube channel (2AspiringAuthors)
... and ask her if... somehow... she could help us get published?    

Just wondering out loud…



.

A Christmas Story

Today’s Christmas Day.  For many, this day brings with it: great anticipation, excitement, family dinners, and communities coming together. 

This Christmas is no exception, except for… well… let me just tell you what happened when I got home from church, and you’ll see what I mean.

I sing at various churches, so I was away from the house all morning.  As I drove into my garage, I was thinking how nice a nap would feel, right about then…but plans quickly changed.

My neighbor came rushing up and met me at my car door. 

“I wanted to catch you before you went into your house!  Your backyard is on fire!  See?!”  and she points to the back of my house.

Instead of going into my house, I went around to the back and… yes, indeed… my backyard was on fire… along with several other backyards and the detention pond and the pine trees across the way… and…

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree… How quickly thee can burn!

The fire was so close to my house, it was unbelievable!  While I was gone, my neighbors had tried desperately to stop the fire from reaching my house, but their hoses weren’t long enough.

One neighbor was reaching his hose over his wooden fence to try to quench the thirsty flames, while another neighbor was bringing buckets of water to do the job.

I ran up to the fire’s line that was, literally, knocking on my back door, and I started stumping out the flames with my feet.  All I could think of at that moment was that I didn’t care if my pants went up in flames, just as long as my house didn’t!

To add to this little Christmas miracle of mine, I was in the middle of changing house insurance companies.  That’s all I needed was for my house to go up in flames, during this transitional period, and on Christmas day!!!

But… all is fine.  The community got together and stopped the fire before it damaged anyone’s home.  The fire was contained in the huge detention pond behind us, although the fire did come very, very close — too close for comfort — to our homes.

The excitement of the event bonded the neighbors together on this sunny and very dry Christmas Day. 

As we waited in anticipation for the fire department to arrive, my neighbors pieced together what had happened.  Seems that a couple of boys were seen firing off grenade-type fire crackers under the pine trees across the way.  Their actions started the fire that swept through the area.  The wind moved the flames quickly, down the open and dried grass area. 

As we looked over the blackened landscape that nearly engulfed our homes, we can only shake our heads.  We’re sure that the boys responsible didn't think of the consequences of their actions.

Will the boys learn from this senseless act and not do it again?  Will they accept responsibility for their actions?  Will they stand up and pay for the damage that they caused? 

It’s hard to say.  We were lucky this time… but what about the next time? 

I have no idea what comes next… only that… as in the past, Christmas Day brought with it: anticipation, excitement, and a community coming together…

Oh... and a Merry Crisp-mess to All!





.

The Byproduct of Synergy

You may (or may not) have noticed that my patience has decreased — and my frustrations have increased —   the closer we get to the holidays.  I wish I could say that I was a rare find, but (sorry to say) I find that more and more people are in my frame of mind than those in the “holiday spirit.”

I want to change that in myself; therefore, I’m stepping off my ranting soapbox… at least for today… to think only good thoughts… pleasant thoughts… happy thoughts.  The thoughts that come to mind are…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Well, nothing’s come to mind yet, so I’ll give you an update on our book projects…

The Holiday Season has slowed everything and everyone down, so I’ve been entertaining myself with creating audio/mp3 files for the children’s book. 

Yes, I know that I introduced myself as the “writer” and Katherine as the “speaker.”  

Yes — of course, Katherine would be better at recording the children’s book.  She has more talent in this area than I do but not the time to do it; I have the time, but not as much talent in this area as she does.

Yes — of course, that’s the whole reason behind picking a partner that brings talents that you lack to the collective table. 

And yes — that’s what synergy is all about.  Synergy encompasses the idea that a cohesive group of two or more can come together, and that group can outperform the individual members.  The group becomes greater than the sum of its parts, where 1+1=3… and not just 2.

And yes — the collection of various talents of a team will produce an overall better result than if each person worked on her or his own.

BUT… the byproduct of synergy is that the members learn and grow in fashions that they never would have, if they weren’t part of the group.  Each member learns from each other, becoming more rounded, more capable, and more flexible because of the interaction with the other members.

Synergy doesn’t create a group of people dependent on each other to finish a product.  It creates a group of people who can independently stand on their own but choose to share and exchange their resources with each other. 

So, if I want to grow, I can’t simply hold onto the idea that “I’m the writer and Katherine’s the speaker.”  I can't use those job descriptions as a crutch, become totally dependent on her schedule, and wait for Katherine to have the time to devote to this project.

If I want to grow, I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and dive into the speaking/recording aspect of this project.

Even if all I get out of this is the practice (and from that, the self-confidence) of doing voice and editing work, I’ve grown in areas that I wouldn't have had otherwise.  That’s not a bad thing… not a bad thing at all!

So, I’ve been entertaining myself with creating audio/mp3 files for the children’s book. 

I would read a chapter out loud, record it on my computer, and then work on the editing portion to get something that would sound passable to the human ear.  Of course, it’s late at night when I work on this, so by the end of the sessions, I would consider what I’ve recorded impressive, especially coming from me.  

Then, a week later — in the light of day and with fresh ears — after doing 15 chapters or more, I go back and listen to the first chapters and shock myself, “Good Greif!  I can’t believe I thought that was good!”

Well, back to the drawing board… or recording room…

Yep, my supervisor has nothing to worry about.  I’m not quitting my day job over any of this... 




.

Words vs. Actions

I can’t believe that I’m ranting again... and so soon! 

Now, it may sound like I’m complaining about the lack of respect, assistance, satisfaction, and courtesy that I've suffered at the hands of a certain cell phone company that shall remain nameless… at least in this posting.  

It may sound like I’m complaining about the inability of corporate America to solve problems of its own making, forcing its customers to pay the price of its incompetencies.

It may sound like I’m complaining about the lack of listening skills, understanding, and conscious effort that should be ingrained and embodied in the phrase customer service.

Granted, all the above do apply in this particular instance, which is fueling my anger, but that’s not what I’m going to focus on today… at least, not in this posting.

What I find more egregious than any of the above, is the lack of integrity companies have built into their customer service procedures.  And, once again, companies have created this integrity problem for themselves, forcing its customers to pay the price.

I won’t bore you with all the details — my close friends will take THAT burden off your shoulders — but I will share with you the integrity issue that has gotten under my skin.

Although I am using this particular cell phone company as an example, most companies follow similar practices around the country and the world, so I’m sure you have come across this in your daily activities… more than once.

Companies instruct their employees to follow written scripts, such as:  They would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused you.  They thank you for being a customer of theirs.  They appreciate your business.

No matter what is transacting, they are instructed to say this about every 3 or 4 sentences:  They would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused you.  They thank you for being a customer of theirs.  They appreciate your business.

Because I’m a “long-time” customer of theirs, this particular cell phone company repeats their apology and appreciation every other sentence.  They would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused me.  They thank me for being a long-time customer of theirs.  They appreciate my business.

As the conversation is going on, they tell me No, NO, NO to my requests for a fair solution to my problem, followed by… They would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused me.  They thank me for being a long-time customer of theirs.  They appreciate my business.

The fact that they didn’t, couldn’t, and wouldn’t help me with my problem completely escapes their notice, while they say…. They would like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inconvenience this issue may have caused me.  They thank me for being a long-time customer of theirs.  They appreciate my business.

Do they not understand the meaning behind the words in the script they recite?  As they mechanically and continually recite these words to me, their words become hollow and without meaning.  They become habitual liars to me.  Do they not realize this?

In turn, the entire company comes off as hollow and without meaning. 

Your business is extremely important to us — is a farce.

We appreciate you — is a lie.

Does anyone believe in what they're saying?

Do I, as a customer, feel valued, heard, taken care of, or appreciated?  No.

Do I, as a customer, feel abused, taken advantaged, and discarded?  Yes.

Do I, as a customer, trust this company?  No, because their actions don't match their words.

It all goes back to integrity.

We try so hard to teach this important concept to our children — the importance of integrity and being honest in your dealing with others.  We tell our children that to be responsible adults, they must be responsible for their actions and do what’s right.  We tell them that they need to be consistent in action and word.  They must have integrity in everything they do and say.  If they want to be trusted and respected, their words have to match their actions at all times. They can’t promise something and not follow through with it.

Corporate America must have forgotten all of this.  They must have also forgotten that once your words begin to no longer match your actions, people will no longer trust your word.  Instead of being respected and trusted, your words will become hollow and powerless.  You will soon lose the respect of others.  You will lose all that you worked so hard to gain. 

For corporate America, this means they will lose their customers…

And only then, will they understand what they were reciting… but, by then, it will be too late.

.

Warning: Pet-Peeve Ranting Ahead

I ran into something in an online writers’ discussion group forum that has ruffled my feathers a bit… and you get to hear about it.  [Oh, Joy!]

One of the members is promoting his “instant article writing template kit” that turns non-writers into writers overnight. 

I get irritated with similar claims that a 30-minute video can teach you to play the piano.  For all of us who had to endure years of piano lessons and those endless hours of practicing, this “short cut” promise just doesn’t sit well in the pits of our stomachs.

Don’t waste your time learning the notes.  Forget technique; forget the left hand; forget the intent and magic that the composers wanted to convey to you through their compositions.  Forget about the emotions that music stirs within you and others when you infuse yourself into the piece.  Forget all that…

None of that is important. 

Just play the melodies with your right hand and, every once in a while, hit a chord or two with the left hand, and you’re playing the piano. 

Yes.  You are, technically, playing the piano, but can you emotionally move people with what you’re doing?  Are you a pianist?  Are you an artist? 

In my mind, not all those who play the piano are pianists; not all those who sing are vocalists or performers; not all those who draw are artists; therefore, not all those who communicate in writing are writers. 

I know that article writing templates kits are useful.  They save time and help people organize their thoughts quickly.  Organization and structure is necessary for any type of oral or written communication.

Organization and focus is needed to successfully get your point across.  I cannot and will not deny that. 

I also cannot deny that many people are poor communicators, because they don’t organize and structure their thoughts and ideas.  Ultimately, these types of kits would promote better written communication.

So, what’s my beef?  I think I would have an easier time with their marketing program, if they said their kit improves communication skills… instead of saying the kit can turn non-writers into writers. 

Their structure ignores the creativity, imagination, and unique perspective that transform the written word into an emotional experience.

Many may not think that this distinction is important, but I do.

As a side note:  I ran across an excellent video, RSAnimate—Changing Education Paradigms, by Sir Ken Robinson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U ) that highlights society’s tendency to mass produce education to a formatted standard, while it organizes and formats creativity and divergent thinking to extinction.

So, it looks like there will be more of this type of thinking going on… and more ranting on my part. 

I’m just warning you…


.

Where Your Attention Is, Your Heart Will Also Be

Katherine and I had one of our book project meetings last night.  We looked at our things-to-do list for the upcoming weeks.  It was so depressing and oppressive  that we’ve decided to forgo our business meeting for next week and just go out to dinner.  We needed to reconnect with each other instead.

With time becoming such a limited resource for both of us, when we do manage to get together, all we do is work on these book projects.  The frustrations and monotonous work of making our dream come true has pushed our friendship into a fragile spot — into a corner void of the connection, attention, and caring that were once so ingrained in our friendship and so precious to us.  Somewhere along the way, those precious gifts were misplaced, and it’s time to regain them again.

I’m glad Katherine suggested this idea of going out.  We haven’t gone out for the longest time.  We haven’t laughed together for the longest time.  We haven’t really talked to each other for the longest time.  There just wasn’t any time…

Well, no… that’s not true…  There is always 24 hours in a day.  It’s just that we were choosing to spend our time elsewhere.  We were constantly placing our time and attention somewhere else.

It’s hard to admit, but we can go through life taking our friends for granted, to the point that we don’t see them anymore.  We figure that they will always be there; they will understand.  After all, they are our friends.  We’re so busy multitasking our lives away that we can no longer focus on one thing at a time — or one person at a time. 

With so many people and things fighting for our attention, we forget that we must choose who gets our attention and for how long.  If we don’t focus and limit ourselves, then our attention is spread so thin and in so many directions that nothing is accomplished and no one is satisfied.  We end up failing ourselves and failing those we care about the most.

Yes, it's time for Katherine and me to spend more time working on our friendship than on becoming published. 

After all, if we lose our friendship along the way, our dream will never come true.

Our dream only exists through our friendship.



.

Need to Mix It Up!

Well, the antsy feeling has turned into restlessness and recklessness.  I’m beginning to feel like a caged animal.

I want to do something fun... and I’ve become obsessed with the idea of recording the children’s book, now.  Katherine is on board with the idea, but again, time is an issue for her.   Plus, with the number of different characters in the book, we would need to have various voices to pull this thing off.

But, I can’t help it.  Even knowing all of this, I want to get started on it… if not now, then… now.

I’m thinking if Katherine isn’t available, I could play around with taping some chapters myself… just to keep me from jumping out of my skin.  It’ll give me some practice in voice intonation and inflection and editing audio tracks…

Ultimately, I want Katherine to do the readings, but at least the practice will keep me busy and entertained until something new comes along.  I'm thinking this distraction will help me deal with the mundane administrative stuff better…

As you can tell, I’m pulling at straws.  I’m trying to keep my energy up for this project.  If I can come up with some fun stuff to mix in with the boring stuff that’s ahead of me, I won’t feel like the happiness of life is being sucked out of me every time I come back to this project. 



.

‘Tis the Bah Humbug Season

Oh dear, I’m feeling antsy again.  I’m restless and roaming the house, wanting to do something productive and fun.  I keep coming back to this computer, feeling that I should be doing something, but, at the moment, the only SOMETHING to be doing is the stuff I hate doing.

It seems that I’ve run through all the fun and creative tasks on my project list and am facing quite a boring list again.

The creative process of the children’s book is done — and our little hero is resting before he goes on another adventure.

My friend who teaches elementary school is excited about sharing the children’s story with her first graders, but I’d like Katherine’s son to read it first, before sending it out to other kids.  I’d like to be able to tell him that he was the first kid to read our book. 

I anticipate that once Katherine’s son finishes with the book, the school kids will be on their Winter Break and won’t get back until January.

I can’t go any further on the Ready or Not... book — not without Katherine.  Hopefully, our schedules will mesh again, and we can finish that book before the book club starts up again. 

The book club/focus group gets back together in January, too.  We’ve invited Ellen DeGeneres and her mom, Betty DeGeneres, to the meetings.  No word, yet, as to whether they are joining us — and I don’t feel like we can bother them again… at least for a couple more weeks.   [I don’t want to risk a restraining order.]

Oh… as for a webcam update… I ended up uninstalling the one I was struggling with and got a new one.  I’m happy to report that I was able to install the new one all by myself [proving that I’m not such an idiot, after all!]; and this new one seems to be working better, although I haven’t really tested it yet.  I did use the microphone feature to record a snippet of the children’s book. 

The book sounds good read out loud.  I’d like to get Katherine to record the story.  Katherine even suggested that “we” create a screenplay from the book.  That would fun — but one step at a time. 

Maybe we’ll post a small audio file of the book on the blog, if you’re interested in hearing a bit of it.  All that is fun and exciting to think about, but for right now, all I’m left with is the research and administrative #$@#$ that goes along with finding a publisher for the children’s book.  YUCK!!

It’s the same old story with the children’s book publishers as with the adult nonfiction publishers. I’ve checked out more than 100 publishers for children's books.  Most are not accepting manuscripts at this time (but check back later); or they are not accepting manuscripts without literary agents.  Interestingly, lots of publishers are only interested in multicultural, bilingual, or bible-based stories for kids; and some simply want educational and training materials — not children's stories. 

After all of that, I found about a dozen publishers that may be interested in our children’s book.  We’ll try them, before knocking on literary agents’ doors again.

Unfortunately, the publishers’ for children’s books seem even less affable than the adult nonfiction publishers — at least the way they post their submission guidelines.

Basically, if we don’t hear from them within 6-8-12 months, we are told to assume that they're not interested in our materials.  Usually, publishers will send materials back, or an “encouraging letter of hope” if you supply them with a self-addressed stamped envelop (SASE).  The children’s book publishers tell you not to bother them with the SASE, because they won’t take the time to respond back to you.  If you don’t hear from them after a year, assume they have no interest in you…

Yeah… can you tell why I don’t like this phase of the project?



.

Want Honest Feedback? Ask a Child

I’m both excited and apprehensive about this next step.  Our little children’s book is ready to go on its first sleepover to some friends’ houses, to see if it could stand on its own and fend for itself. 

A very good friend of mine teaches in an elementary school in Key Largo, Florida.  She read our little story and thought her class would enjoy it.  So, she’s going to read the story to the class and ask for their feedback. 

What did they like about the book? 

What lessons did they learn from the story? 

What were their favorite characters?

What character(s) would they like to know more about?

If you want honest feedback about anything, just ask a child… but you also have to be adult enough to listen to and accept their opinions.   Children tend to tell you what they think without softening the blows for you. 

So, this will be more a test of my maturity more than theirs — and I’m afraid that I may not pass this test.

If they write back that they like the book, then it may help us with publishers.  If they like the book, we’d like to plan a little field trip down to Key Largo to visit them.  We may even add them to our dedication page of the book to show our appreciation…

But only if they like

 the story…

If they don’t like the story, then forget that I even mentioned any of this.  None of this ever happened.

.

Ain’t Technology Grand!

Well, I guess it’s time for me to move into the 21st century…

Because of our different schedules, it’s becoming more and more difficult for Katherine to meet with me at my house and work on our book projects.

Last night, she goes all techie on me and helps me set up a webcam on my computer, so we can still work together when we can’t physically meet.  She gets the thing working and hooks it up to our online chat system and everything.  She leaves all happy because we accomplished something.

The next morning, when I turn on my system, the #@$@$ thing doesn’t work.

I don’t know what it is, but the little green light that was on last night isn’t on this morning.  The computer pings and pokes me that a special file that is needed to run the webcam — that was there last night — is now suddenly missing!

I have no idea who would have broken into my house last night to steal this precious file from the computer...

I tried uninstalling and reinstalling and crossing my fingers and crying and… and… and… until I simply gave up and emailed Katherine for help.  Hopefully, the next time she comes by, she can get it working again.

I hope it's an easy fix, but on the other hand, I won't feel like such a dummy if she can't get it working again.

We'll see what type of magic she brings with her the next time she comes by.  It would be pretty funny if the webcam only decides to work when Katherine is at my house.  That defeats the purpose of this thing, doesn't it? 

Yeah, my techie-days are over for me, I’m afraid, if I can’t get a simple @#$@$ webcam to stay hooked up for me.

.

I Have No Choice

It’s amazing how, when I’ve had a fight with someone — whether it be a family member, friend, co-worker, or stranger — it’s so difficult to concentrate on anything else.  All I do is relive the event… the conversation … the feelings… over and over again. 

Why do I torture myself this way?  Do I think I can change the outcome of the fight by just rewriting the ending to something better?  Do I think I have control of things, like I have control over the characters in my stories?

No, I know I have control over very little.  I only have control over my actions, my thoughts, and my feelings.  I have no control over how others see me, how they treat me, how they react to me… and that’s #$@# frustrating!!! 

But it is what it is.  It’s the natural law of things.  I can’t change it with a keystroke or pen.  All I can do is deal with the situation the best I can… and take one day at a time.

Part of me just wants to give up and walk away; the other part tells me that if I do, I will hurt myself more than I can ever imagine. 

Part of me just wants to remain silent to what I feel; the other part tells me that the only way to feel differently is to break my silence.

I know, in my heart, that remaining silent is not the answer.  The longer the silence exists between us, the harder it is for us to reconnect again.  We start to distrust each other, because we are no longer communicating effectively.  Soon, we may end up no longer communicating at all.  We may decide that it is easier to support indifference toward each other than it is to work at connecting again.

I don’t want that… not yet.  I want to stay connected to you; but I also know that, once I break my silence, conflict and discourse will result.  This, too, is a natural law. 

This is because my self-interest has gotten in the way of your self-interest.  It’s inevitable that one of us will feel that splash of hurt, because our expectation of the other is not being met. 

When this hurt is revealed, I will wish that I had kept my silence.

How do I solve this dilemma?  If I break my silence, I create conflict and I could lose you; if I remain silent, I create resentment and I could lose you.

Which path should I take?  Either one could lead to hurt and loss.  

I don’t know what will happen, but I’m not willing to give up… not yet.  I know tomorrow brings with it another chance to do better — and I’m going to take that chance.

Another thing I know is that I have to trust and accept the consequences of that trust.

Here’s another natural law that cannot be changed.  With trust comes vulnerability and, possibly, betrayal.  But trust is so important to relationships that I have no other choice but to build up my courage to weather the pain that comes with it.  I have to trust and know that I can be hurt in doing so. 

I have no choice in the matter. 

I have no choice…

.

Got Some Good News and Some Bad News

I've some good news and some bad news.

The good news is…

No, a publisher hasn’t picked us up yet.

No, Ellen hasn’t called yet… nor has her mother, Betty — not yet.

No, Gayle hasn’t called yet.

Kelly Ripa and Oprah haven’t called either — but it’s too soon for them to call.  We just emailed them a couple of weeks ago.

The good news is that we’ve finished writing the first draft of the children’s book — and it’s stellar stuff… in our humble opinion.

Of course, a children’s book needs illustrations, and we’ve conceptualized what we want those to be.  Each picture will tell its own story, while propelling the story further — not just retelling a particular scene in the book.  Each scene will be able to stand on its own as it acts as a bridge to the next chapter.  Really, really cool stuff… in my humble opinion.

***  
The bad news is:

With the creative part of the book done, we have to jump into all the stuff I’ve learned to hate, Hate, HATE doing.  Because this book is such a departure from the other two, we have to start from scratch — start all over again.  A brand new book proposal has to be written; a new market research has to be done, new promotional ideas have to be generated; a completely different market has to be defined; research on the competition in the children’s book market has to be conducted, etc. 

Because this book is children fiction and not adult nonfiction, there’s a different way of addressing the publishers.  Publishers of children’s books are looking for completely different things.

I’ve got to start searching and creating new lists of publishers interested in children’s books.  I can’t use the ones I already have.  I have to start researching and contacting all new publishers…

By adding illustrations, we need to find and work with an illustrator who can meet our vision and expectations for the book… which is no easy task!  Hopefully, the publisher that picks us up will have the perfect illustrator for our book.

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!!!  I am not looking forward to any of this!!! 

I know that we must do what we must do… but not just yet.

I’m not ready to start that phase, again... not just yet.

I’d still like to focus on the creative side of things for a bit longer.

The Ready or Not book is not ready yet, so I’d like to refocus on getting that completed, especially if we’re still planning to have that as our next book for the book club discussion that starts in January.   Once that book is finished, we’ll have three completed manuscripts to offer anyone who is interested in reading them.

We can start test marketing the children’s book.  Our first guinea pig will be Katherine’s 9-year-old son (soon to be 10) — and, I’m afraid, he’ll be the toughest critic we’ll face on this journey. 

My dream is that he will get so excited with the story that he’ll want to help us write the next one in the series.  I think that would be fabulous!  If the story can get him interested and excited about writing… WOW!

After him — if the book and we survive that test — we’ll ask other parents and kids to read it and give us their feedback.

After that… 

No, I’m not ready to think any further than that.  Let me stay in my happy place… just a bit longer.





.

Another Switch in Direction

Katherine and I had our weekly FB meeting.  Most of our time was spent on the children’s book.  We wanted to go over what we had thus far, to make sure that the tone of the book was just right… not too hard… not too soft… but just right.

The best part of the night was when Katherine read what we had out loud, as it was meant to be read.  This way I could hear the flow and the ease at which the words played off of each other.  

I have to tell you, it’s the neatest feeling to sit back and hear a story being read out loud.  It gives you license to revert back to a child and have someone else take over for you… even if it’s just for a little while.  You never feel alone on this journey, because you have someone walking along with you.  It’s such a comforting feeling…

Add to that… these are your words being read back to you.  You’re the one that put the words together.  You’re the one that created this little world that’s being shared with others. 

It’s just an amazing feeling!

Both Katherine and I got caught up in this spell… so much so that we started to think about how we can further develop the characters and story for the sequels that naturally flow from this first book.  We discussed what we wanted the illustrations to be and what types of animation we wanted for the movie that will be made from the book(s), and… and… and…

Yes, we did manage to climb down from the clouds on which we found ourselves.  By the end of the evening, we were back to (our form of) reality.  First, get published... then start thinking movie deals. 

It is interesting to think that this children’s book may be the most marketable of the three.  This may be the one that starts our careers as published authors.   We may have stumbled on our recipe for success, without even knowing it.

That’s why we’ve switched our focus (again).  For the next couple of weeks, we’re going to concentrate on finishing this book and the Ready or Not book.  By January, we anticipate that we’ll have three books ready for publishing. 

We’re excited and can't wait to see where this road takes us….


.

Walking a Thin Line

Like thousands of people, my day job is necessary to pay the bills, but it is very boring.  For our breaks, a friend and I will walk around the building to shake the numbness out of our legs, butts, and brains…

Since my friend knows that the children’s book is my current obsession, it’s during these walks that she asks for an update on our little hero and what trouble he’s gotten himself into…

Yes, she is a very good friend to open herself to the droning torture of my obsession.  It’s one thing to bore Katherine with this imaginary world of mine, because ….well, it comes with the territory of being my business partner. 

But it’s completely different to verbally bombard an innocent bystander with endless details of a reality that only exists in my head.

I keep warning her not to go down that path with me, because once that dam busts open, there’s no stopping me.  Unless she wants me to go on and on about the developing plot, the characters, and the this-and-that of it all, she better not ask me…

But she keeps asking; thus, she keeps enduring my endless chatter about my imaginary world.

To her credit, she seems entertained — either by the story or by my total commitment to these characters of the story. 

She’s amazed that I’m doing all of this without the help of drugs.  She only mentions this, because so many well-known authors enhance their creativity by taking mind-altering drugs.  It seems that my mind is altered enough without adding chemicals… 

And to clarify:  No, I am not on any medication… although many have suggested that I should be…

.

A New Beginning

Well, the children’s story is writing itself.  The hero of the story is a little boy, who is just starting to learn what it takes to be a responsible and respected young man. 

This is my first attempt at a children’s story  — and it’s an awesome experience!  I get to pour all my years of knowledge into this little imaginary human being that I’ve created. 

Imagine being able to right all the wrongs in your life.  Imagine being able to take the knowledge you have today and relive your life again — knowing what you know now and applying it to your younger self…

Think about it for a moment.  What would you do differently?  What other choices would you have had?  How would those differences affect the course of your life?  Where would you be, instead of where you are today?

I get to do this for my little imaginary hero.  I get to pour my life’s blood into his little young head.  It’s an amazing feeling — to start anew...

Don’t assume that I am unhappy with where I am in my life — quite the contrary.  I make no excuses, have no regrets, and am not ashamed, embarrassed, or unhappy with how my life has turned out.  I like where I am and know I would not be in this particular place if I hadn’t gone through everything I went through — good and bad — to get to this place. 

The fact that I like where I am today gives me confidence to say that I wouldn't have changed a thing in my life.  I have no regrets.

 No.  I have no regrets.  But, it took me a heck of a long time to get here.  Would I have liked to arrive here a lot sooner?   Definitely!!!

Would I have liked to learn all this stuff much quicker?   Definitely!!!

Would I have liked someone to have come along and pour her life’s blood into my head, when I was young — to give me a head start on my journey?  Well...

Today, I would say, Definitely… but thinking back…

Would my younger “self” have accepted such a precious gift?  Probably not… since, back then, I thought I already knew it all.

Ironic, isn't it?  At a time when I would have benefited the most from this offer, I wouldn't have appreciated the wisdom of such a gift.

Ironic...isn't it?



.

It Happened Overnight!

I guess I was just tired the other night, because I woke up with a FABULOUS idea for another book.  This one is a children’s book — which will be the third in our From the Inside Out series.  I’m just working on the outline now — developing the tone of the book and the first opening chapters, so I can show Katherine the idea at our next meeting. 

I’m excited about the storyline.  It’s going to be awesome… in my humble opinion.  My only concern is that it may have been done before.  I’m just not sure.  I’m thinking, although the backdrop has been used before, I doubt the approach has. 

I imagine that we’ll need an illustrator for this book, because the storyline, characters, and backdrop lend themselves to illustrations so well — and kids love pictures. 

If we have a publisher by then, we can get an illustrator through them. If not, we’ll have another hurdle to jump… maybe a college student would be interested... but I’m jumping ahead of myself. 

We’ll cross all those bridges when we get to them.  Today, I’m just excited about being excited. 

And it didn’t take long to find my fun again.  It happened overnight.

.

Holiday Blues

I’m afraid the Holiday Blues are setting in early for me.  I see the end of the year quickly approaching; and our book hasn’t even been noticed — let alone picked up — by a publisher.  It’s getting more and more difficult to meet with Katherine due to her ever-changing schedule, so I’m feeling like I’m flying solo for the most part; and frankly, the fun is waning… quickly. 

I’m afraid that this bah-humbug feeling is only going to get worse with the Holiday Season closing in.  Just thinking about fitting in the preparations for Thanksgiving and Christmas and the stress and overwhelming expectations that come along with all of it — including additional choir practices for special church functions, and family members coming down to visit, etc.  Bah Humbug!!!

I think I’m just plain tired… tired… tired.

I’m tired of pushing through things on this project without any affirmation coming from anywhere.  I can’t imagine doing this year after year after year… as so many aspiring writers and artists do.

What I expected would happen hasn’t happened — at least, not yet. 

I imagined that I’d quickly pop out a book or two, and we’d be busy jet setting from one city to another, meeting our readers.  I imagined that I would be perfecting my social banter for book signings, talk shows, and radio interviews.  I imagined that we’d be meeting and interviewing with editors, publicists, and publishers — discussing and deciding what the best path to take for our projects would be.

I didn’t imagine this solitary work.

I’ve been writing entries to this blog for a number of months now, with little interaction from our readers and little input from Katherine.  I’ve been writing and re-writing and re-working sections of our second book.  I’ve been researching more and more possible publishers.  I’m doing all of this at night, after long days at work.  Add to this my various volunteer commitments and managing a home and all that’s associated with that… and you’ve got one cranky, tired woman.

Yep.  I need something to change.  I need a break from this work routine that I’ve created for myself.  I’m just tired… tired… tired… of what I’m doing… doing… doing…

Believe me when I tell you that I don’t need to add any more work to this already overflowing plate of mine, but I do need to change things up to add more variety to the meal.

I need an infusion of fun… and I need it NOW!!!

At our last project meeting, Katherine felt this tension growing within me, and we were able to discuss my burnout symptoms. 

Katherine suggested that we take a break from the research and administrative work of finding and contacting publishers until January; but I was afraid that if we stopped now, we would never start back up again. 

I needed to feel that we were still committed and moving forward — not standing still, not stalling, not giving up... 

She suggested that, to keep the project moving, we could focus on developing presentation materials and creating the videos and audio clips we’ve been talking about.  This would mix things up for me.  The fact that the presentations, videos, and audio clips fell within Katherine’s circle of expertise will also give me a needed break and add some balance to this partnership. 

We can continue to reach out to various talk show hosts and finish up Ready or Not… and we can start back on the publishers’ list in January. 

Then again, Ellen DeGeneres may call us by January, and I can burn that blasted publishers’ list!  

Wouldn’t that be just FABULOUS?!!

.

Ready or Not

The recent events of teen suicide due to bullying (e.g., cyber-bullying, streaming videos of private encounters) have increased our concern and need to get our second book ready for publication.  I know we’ve probably bothered Ellen DeGeneres too much already, but I want to let her know about the second book we’re working on before she starts ignoring us completely.  

With any luck, she might want to look at this one before our first one.  If we can jump-start the process on our second book, we’d get the message out faster.  If Ellen would rather pass, that’s her choice, but we tried…

Bullying and, in particular, cyber-bullying have become a frequent practice among American youth.  Incidents are reaching such daunting results that state legislatures are rapidly adopting measures to try to control the epidemic.  For instance, Florida Legislature has adopted an anti-bullying law in April 2008.  This Florida law prohibits bullying and harassment of any public K-12 student or employee, and requires public schools to adopt measures to protect students and employees from the physical and psychological effects of bullying and harassment.   Forty-two other states have anti-bullying laws, which are constantly being updated.

Our book, Ready or Not — Life’s Coming at Ya, tackles this subject along with other serious subjects.  Life is not a fairytale; therefore, this book is not colored with fairytale endings.  Because the journey is not an easy one, the book deals with challenging issues head on.  There are no detours, no shortcuts, and no apologies.  Whether this book is read or not, each of us has to plow through the issues — ready or not.  In our opinion, Ready or Not… would give its readers some company and support along the way. 

Within this book’s pages lives a likeable, yet self-conscious, mentor.  Throughout the book, she shares her fears and insecurities, while she manages to deal with her demons — real and unreal.  In this way, we get to see what is hidden in the dark shadows that we all fear.  Our mentor openly exposes her own struggles and acknowledges that she is — and will always be — a work-in-process.  Each day presents another chance to do better.  This simple fact helps us become more accepting of our differences and more comfortable with our continuous journey.

Ready or Not — Life’s Coming at Ya begins with a short little story that tells of a young stallion’s yearnings to be free… but he learns too late that he was not as prepared as he had thought.

Part I concentrates on the transition from dependence to independence.  The book paints a realistic portrait of how one deals with the emotions of shedding the protective wrap of childhood to emerge as an independent individual.

Part 2 focuses on the importance of interdependency.  It’s an interesting paradox that, to assure our own survival and happiness, we need to focus on other people.  It reveals the fact that we need to cultivate social connections and strong social relationships.  If we don’t, we will be lost and devastated when adversity comes our way.  

Part 3 is a very intense section.  It takes on tough subjects such as bullying, rape, child abuse, sexual assault, addictions, etc.  Its mission is to show us how to deal with life’s challenges by putting into practice all that was revealed in the previous two sections. 

Ready or Not — Life’s Coming at Ya is intended to help prepare us for what lies ahead.  By the end of the book, those courageous enough to take on its challenges will be more ready than not…



.

Me and My Big Mouth!

Well, Katherine really likes the idea of Ready or Not — Life’s Coming at Ya being our next book to discuss — if it’s ready by January. 

The book club will act as a focus group for the book, discussing what they like and don't like about it.

This book discussion group was a good idea when the book was authored by some stranger outside the group — but my heart and soul is in this particular book, and I’m not very good at taking criticism. 

These two facts put together… I just don’t see myself enjoying the next series of book club meetings… and I can’t get out of them because the meetings are held at my house.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m afraid will happen.  It’s just an irrational and uneasy feeling, like most fears.  Basically, I’m imagining everyone telling me everything that’s wrong with the book.  I’m afraid that the group will reject the book… and me along with it.

I know, logically, that’s not going to happen, but Fear is not logical.  Fear is Fantasized Experience Appearing Real. 

Of course, there’s no law that says I have to put the book up for discussion, but that will only make things worse.  If I withdraw the book from discussion, I would have let my fears win, and I can’t have that.

It doesn’t matter what our age is, at some point or another, we all meet up with the Fear of Rejection. Its power comes from the human need to be accepted, recognized, and affirmed by others, so we can feel good about ourselves.  It’s natural.  It’s part of life. 

But if we let Fear of Rejection control us, it can prevent us from being authentic human beings.

We are so driven by the need for acceptance of others that we can lose our own identity in the process.  We may want to be accepted so badly, that we mimic the ways in which others act, dress, talk, think, behave, and believe.  As we do this, we lose our own identity (i.e., what makes us unique and special); we lose the ability to think for ourselves; and in the process, we lose the ability to be ourselves.

It's just that if we continue to allow this fear to control us, we will soon become confused as to our true identity, perpetually wearing masks to please others.  We keep our personal feelings hidden.  We become dishonest with ourselves, so much so that this dishonesty carries over into our interactions with others.  In short, we become habitual liars — to ourselves and to others. 

We do all of this because we are afraid of being rejected.

The sad part is that Fear of Rejection is one of those self-fulfilling prophesies.  If I can’t accept “the real me,” how can I imagine anyone else wanting to accept who I am?  If I pretend to be someone I'm not, how are others to come to know me and trust me?

In short, by allowing the Fear of Rejection to step in as a barrier for me, I end up feeling rejected by the very people with whom I want to connect.

What I perceive as rejection from others is really distrust… the distrust I created in myself and presented to them.  I never gave them a chance to meet and come to know the real me. 

I didn’t trust them enough to let them in. 

I didn’t trust myself enough to let them in. 

To break this cycle, I have to take the risk, take the mask off, and put myself out there for others to see. 

So, I’ll have to have Ready or Not be the subject of our next book discussion, even though I’m uncomfortable about offering my heart and soul to the group.

I have to do it… like it or not…

Man!  Me and my BIG mouth!!!




.

Book Club Hiatus

Give us a cheer!  Our book discussion group has completed discussing its first book! 

Since we’re approaching the holiday season, we decided to take a break from the book club for a while.

We plan to reconvene in January.  We haven’t decided what our next book will be.  If our Ready or Not book is ready by then, we may put that up for discussion by the group.  Then again, we may not end up discussing a book at all; it may be a series of articles; we’re not sure.  We don’t have to decide until January, so we have plenty of time to mull it over…

One thing I did think of…

I was wondering what would happen if we invited Ellen DeGeneres and her mom to our little book club discussion group.  I know they would never come, but it’s just fun to think about it. 

I can imagine Ellen picking up this latest attempt to get noticed and making a hilarious monologue out of it!  She can go on for 5 minutes about how these two crazy ladies are doing everything they can think of to get her to read their manuscript!! 

She could list all the things we’ve tried thus far — from emailing her show, then trying to get her mother involved, then trying to get her lawyers to read our blog, then eliciting our friends to bombard Ellen’s email system with fan mail (fan mail for us, not her), and now we’re inviting her to our book club…all in the attempt to get Ellen to read our book! 

It would be a riot if they did show up at my door. 

Gosh!  If they did show up, I know exactly what book we would discuss!!!




.

Patience and Persistence

I am not a patient person, so this waiting game is no fun for me.  I have a hard time accepting the conventional wisdom that it will take years and hundreds of submissions before a publisher picks us up.  That just doesn’t sit well with me.

I guess that’s why self-publishing has become such big business in this industry.  It used to be called “vanity publishing” — and many traditional publishers probably still call it that, but self-publishing has become big business.

A member from one of the writers’ discussion groups outlined the difference between a self-publisher and a traditional publisher and suggested that self-publishing may be the answer for those who are willing to devote considerable time to editing, printing, graphic design, distribution, marketing, stocking and restocking stores and managing the financial aspects of the process.  You can end up paying considerable processing fees for editing, graphic design and printing, etc. 

After that, you have to have the time and motivation to try to find persuasive reviews from convincing sources and have the ability to sell thousands of books on your own.  Depending on your salesmanship and network, it may take you years to recoup your initial investment with self-publishing; and the sad truth is you might never recover what you put out.  Then again, if successful, you will not need to split the profits with a publisher.

As a writer, I’m more interested in the creative process of writing the book — not the business aspect of promoting the sale of the book.  Most, if not all of this networking, promoting, motivation, and time in getting our book in front of the public will have to fall on Katherine’s already overloaded shoulders. 

If she has at least 20 hours a week to devote to distribution, marketing, stocking and sales, etc., then I’m behind her and self-publishing 100%.   It’s definitely her decision... and one we don’t have to address at this moment.

We’re still concentrating on the traditional publishers.  All we need to do is find that one publisher that will pick us up.  Our discussion group member mentioned that as long as we truly believe that we have the writing talent, a marketable book, and the persistence to contact hundreds of publishers, keep plugging away...

Not the answer I wanted to hear… but, as a wise friend keeps telling me, “I don’t like my hair falling out either; but there's not much I can do about it.  It is what it is…” 

Basically, he’s telling me that we can’t change the natural law of things.  We just need to go with the flow…

I know he’s right… but I don’t have to like it...

.

Story Blog

One of the writers’ discussion groups had a post about The Story Blog, sponsored by a writing lab group.  The blog is about challenging your imagination and creativity.  They post a picture and invite you to write a story about the picture.   Then they critique the heck out of it.  They pick a winner each month and the prize is… (drum roll, please)… a word of appreciation from the Writing Lab team.

I’m not sure who this Writers’ Lab team is or what gives them the credentials to judge others’ writings, but my curiosity got the best of me.

I clicked on the link and thought the first picture was fun, so I wrote something short.   They critiqued everyone else's post, but ignored mine.  Looking at the posts and the comments, being overlooked (in this case) was a good thing. 

Then the second picture was posted, and they mentioned that this picture was particularly challenging.  Of course, that statement was just thrown out there to dare the rest of us to come up with something. 

Well, I did come up with something.  It was quite simple really — so simple that I thought I was missing the point of the exercise.  I posted it anyway and waited to see if anyone would notice it.

Well, they noticed it and commented. 

Of course, they liked it.  If they hadn’t liked it, I wouldn’t be sharing this experience with you or giving you the link to their blog:  http://thewritinglabstory.blogspot.com/2010/09/challenge-for-writers.html

If they hadn’t liked my writing, promoting their blog would be the last thing on my mind… but they liked it, so…

If you are into writing challenges or need something to do on a rainy day, check them out. 


OH… talking about storytelling, I want to ask your opinion on something.

A friend of mine keeps badgering me about starting a separate blog of stories, because she would like to follow a blog of funny stories that recount the weird and silly situations I get myself into and out of. 

I love her dearly and appreciate her enthusiasm over all of this blogging stuff, but she’s not the one writing all of it… and this all takes time.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’d be happy to start up another blog, but want to make sure that there is enough interest from readers for me to support two blogs at once. 

I need to know that the benefits (your enjoyment) outweigh the cost (my time in keeping up with two blogs) before I invest myself in doing a second blog.

Let me know your thoughts and if you would follow both blogs.  It’s all up to you.





.

Dream Weavers

You know what’s great about dreaming?
You can take it anywhere you want it to go.

You know what’s dangerous about dreaming?
Your belief in it makes you forget that
It’s only a dream.

It struck me tonight that it has never occurred to either of us that we could fail at this.  We just have such confidence in our mission and in ourselves that, in our heads, we are already published.  We are just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up to us.

So, while we wait, we start planning our next step.  Our second book, Ready or Not — Life’s Coming at Ya, is well on its way.  We need to fill in one or two spots and tweak the tone and ending a bit, but, other than that, our second book is written.  Depending on how quickly we can tie up the loose ends on it, we could, conceivably, have two books ready to go to press at the same time. 

That may either open opportunities or create a dilemma for us.   Which should we pitch first?  Which would grab the attention of publishers faster?  Which would draw a stronger audience?  It’s hard to say which book is better.  Like parents of two children, we love them both equally — differently, but equally.

We are now thinking beyond the publishing date.  We need a plan that will make the most of the limited resources the publisher will share with us.  Having our book published is only the first step.  We really want to use the momentum generated by the first book — whichever it may be — to propel speaking engagements and workshops and book signings, etc. 

We have confidence in our creativity and our daring tenacity, but we are also realists.  We can’t accomplish all of this on our own.  We will need some help from those who know what they are actually doing. 

While researching publishers and joining writers’ discussion groups, I have noticed that publishers are expecting writers to do much of their own book promoting and sales.  Publishers strongly suggest that writers hire their own personal publicist. 

Let’s face it, writers are interested in the creative process of writing the book — not the business aspect of promoting the sale of the book.  Publishers are more interested in the sale of the book—not the creative process that goes into the pages of the book.

Publicists are the people who keep both sides happy.  They let the writer create, while they work on generating promotional opportunities for book sales — which keeps the publisher happy.

It so happens that Katherine has an acquaintance who is a great publicist.  Katherine would like to bring her into the mix, once we’re published.  But we won’t be approaching her friend until we actually have a publisher because, although we are dreamers, we are also realists. 

So, we simply have to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to us before contacting Katherine’s friend…

You know what’s great about dreaming?
You can take it anywhere you want it to go.

You know what’s dangerous about dreaming?
Your belief in it makes you forget that
It’s only a dream.

.