I know you’ve heard this from me before, BUT there really is a reason for the excitement this time!
No, a publisher hasn’t picked us up yet.
No, Ellen hasn’t called yet.
No, Gayle hasn’t called yet.
BUT Laura Moody, from Fox News (our local news station), called Katherine for an interview, today.
Katherine is the founder of the Brandon Homeschool Cooperative. Laura is reporting on homeschooling, so she wants to interview Katherine and her boys, regarding homeschooling.
She can use the clip for her Brandon Homeschool Cooperative website, etc. While she's done lots of interviewing on different subjects for various organizations, this experience will give her more television interview practice, before doing it for our book promotions… and the boys will have a blast with it!
So, technically, the interview isn’t for our friendship book or about our adventures in getting published, BUT, if things work out well, Katherine may be able to pitch our story to Laura Moody and see if Fox News will pick up our story.
At the very least, the public exposure for Katherine will be great, and the clip could be tangible evidence for publishers. It will show them how Katherine handles herself on camera and in interviews.
All great stuff!
It’s all so exciting!!!
.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Had Another One of Those Dreams
I woke up from one of my dreams. It posed an interesting question for me, so I thought I’d ask what your opinions on this matter were...
No, it doesn’t have anything to do with our publishing pursuits, but it does deal with the subject of friendship…
I was sleeping in late on a Saturday morning, purring like a cat, just stretching and hugging my pillow. I didn’t care how late it was in the morning; I had the right to stay in bed for as long as I liked. It was the one Saturday that I could…
Just as I turned over for another catnap, I heard the doorbell and then a persistent knock at the door.
I shrugged it off, thinking that I’d let whoever it was go away quietly and let him leave his propaganda on the doorstep.
Then I heard the door open and all these footsteps coming into the house... and my house isn’t all that big! They would be at my bedroom in seconds… with me still in my hole-ly, wear-worn nightgown and everything!
I recognized one voice, so it wasn’t a stranger per se… yet she was still an intruder in my house... and in my life. The good news was that I wasn’t going to be robbed, raped, or anything like that. I was just going to be embarrassed; and a door I had closed long ago would be reopened.
The person in my dream represented one of the longest and unhealthiest friendships I’ve ever survived. We’ll call her Cassandra, because that isn’t her name.
In the dream, she brought along four or five grandchildren that ran all over the house. I tried to close my bedroom door, so I could get dressed, but I was too late. The gang had already descended into this part of the house, and I was seen in my nightwear… and had to explain my laziness on a Saturday morning, while trying to disappear behind the door, to get dressed.
Once my bedroom door was closed, pictures of her and her grandchildren started appearing under the door. Cassandra was sliding picture after picture, bragging about all her accomplishments over the years…
The feelings of being inadequate — and less than whole — started flowing over me so fast that I felt like I was free-falling back to the past.
My friendship with Cassandra was very much one-sided. She would demand so much without giving in return. The reciprocal aspect of friendship was just not there. I found myself constantly supplying her with everything she needed (i.e., attention, appreciation, care, forgiveness, adoration, etc.), and I got nothing back. She controlled every aspect of the friendship, to the point that I lost my “self”. I became but a shadow of her existence.
I found myself losing so much of myself, that I could no longer see me. My time with her was saturated with criticism and feelings of unworthiness and insignificance. I started to believe that I was not worthy of respect, admiration, empathy, care, attention, etc. I came to believe that I could not exist outside of her friendship. My inner light disappeared in her shadow.
The times I tried to equal out the relationship, Cassandra would become critical and even more demanding and controlling — accusing me of being selfish and of betraying her friendship. Not to lose her friendship, I always ended up apologizing and allowing her to take control of things, once again.
As in this dream, she never considered my feelings or needs in her actions. She didn’t put my comfort or well-being on the same level as hers.
I had enough of the dream and abruptly ended it. As I woke up, the dream left me cold and uncomfortable — much like Cassandra’s friendship did.
I know why Cassandra bombarded my dreams on this lazy Saturday morning. An acquaintance recently ran into her and emailed me that Cassandra was back in town, after being away for a number of years. She just wanted to let me know that Cassandra was back, thinking that I’d like to reconnect with an old friend… since we were so close.
All of this reminds me that I didn’t handle that “breakup” well. I never told Cassandra how she made me feel. I never told her how her superior and condescending tone made me feel less than whole, how her constant criticism made me question my true worth, how being in her presence made me cry inside.
No, I never told her these things. I just lessened my interactions with her, until one day I stopped interacting with her at all. I, literally, disappeared from her sight. I know she noticed, because she tried reaching out to me a couple of times, but I was afraid of reconnecting with her. I was afraid of falling into the same pattern. I was afraid.
Now that she has resurfaced, do I welcome her back to the area and back into my life? Do I stay hidden? Do I leave things the way they are?
I really don’t want to open my door and heart to her again. It’s awful to say this about another person, but I like my “self” better without her being a part of my life.
But in the dream, I didn’t open my door. She just walked right in…
.
No, it doesn’t have anything to do with our publishing pursuits, but it does deal with the subject of friendship…
I was sleeping in late on a Saturday morning, purring like a cat, just stretching and hugging my pillow. I didn’t care how late it was in the morning; I had the right to stay in bed for as long as I liked. It was the one Saturday that I could…
Just as I turned over for another catnap, I heard the doorbell and then a persistent knock at the door.
I shrugged it off, thinking that I’d let whoever it was go away quietly and let him leave his propaganda on the doorstep.
Then I heard the door open and all these footsteps coming into the house... and my house isn’t all that big! They would be at my bedroom in seconds… with me still in my hole-ly, wear-worn nightgown and everything!
I recognized one voice, so it wasn’t a stranger per se… yet she was still an intruder in my house... and in my life. The good news was that I wasn’t going to be robbed, raped, or anything like that. I was just going to be embarrassed; and a door I had closed long ago would be reopened.
The person in my dream represented one of the longest and unhealthiest friendships I’ve ever survived. We’ll call her Cassandra, because that isn’t her name.
In the dream, she brought along four or five grandchildren that ran all over the house. I tried to close my bedroom door, so I could get dressed, but I was too late. The gang had already descended into this part of the house, and I was seen in my nightwear… and had to explain my laziness on a Saturday morning, while trying to disappear behind the door, to get dressed.
Once my bedroom door was closed, pictures of her and her grandchildren started appearing under the door. Cassandra was sliding picture after picture, bragging about all her accomplishments over the years…
The feelings of being inadequate — and less than whole — started flowing over me so fast that I felt like I was free-falling back to the past.
My friendship with Cassandra was very much one-sided. She would demand so much without giving in return. The reciprocal aspect of friendship was just not there. I found myself constantly supplying her with everything she needed (i.e., attention, appreciation, care, forgiveness, adoration, etc.), and I got nothing back. She controlled every aspect of the friendship, to the point that I lost my “self”. I became but a shadow of her existence.
I found myself losing so much of myself, that I could no longer see me. My time with her was saturated with criticism and feelings of unworthiness and insignificance. I started to believe that I was not worthy of respect, admiration, empathy, care, attention, etc. I came to believe that I could not exist outside of her friendship. My inner light disappeared in her shadow.
The times I tried to equal out the relationship, Cassandra would become critical and even more demanding and controlling — accusing me of being selfish and of betraying her friendship. Not to lose her friendship, I always ended up apologizing and allowing her to take control of things, once again.
As in this dream, she never considered my feelings or needs in her actions. She didn’t put my comfort or well-being on the same level as hers.
I had enough of the dream and abruptly ended it. As I woke up, the dream left me cold and uncomfortable — much like Cassandra’s friendship did.
I know why Cassandra bombarded my dreams on this lazy Saturday morning. An acquaintance recently ran into her and emailed me that Cassandra was back in town, after being away for a number of years. She just wanted to let me know that Cassandra was back, thinking that I’d like to reconnect with an old friend… since we were so close.
All of this reminds me that I didn’t handle that “breakup” well. I never told Cassandra how she made me feel. I never told her how her superior and condescending tone made me feel less than whole, how her constant criticism made me question my true worth, how being in her presence made me cry inside.
No, I never told her these things. I just lessened my interactions with her, until one day I stopped interacting with her at all. I, literally, disappeared from her sight. I know she noticed, because she tried reaching out to me a couple of times, but I was afraid of reconnecting with her. I was afraid of falling into the same pattern. I was afraid.
Now that she has resurfaced, do I welcome her back to the area and back into my life? Do I stay hidden? Do I leave things the way they are?
I really don’t want to open my door and heart to her again. It’s awful to say this about another person, but I like my “self” better without her being a part of my life.
But in the dream, I didn’t open my door. She just walked right in…
.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Pot of Prose
I set a pot of water to boil while I quickly worked on another publisher’s submission.
A couple of hours later, I got up from the computer. As I left the office, I started to notice a distinct odor coming from the kitchen.
I had forgotten about that pot of boiling water on the stove, which is now only an empty pot with a scorched bottom. The red-hot burner is smiling back at me, daring me to forget its power and existence… ever again!
I have to shake my head at myself. The pot’s stained bottom is yet another reminder of my focus and forgetfulness.
In child-like wonderment, I look around, amazed at how water can simply disappear into thin air, leaving no trace of its prior existence. All I am left with is the stain that sits at the bottom of the pot — its personal badge of courage for quietly enduring the heat of the burner.
As I’m scrubbing the bottom of the pot, I’m wondering if the stain will ever come out or will it act as a constant reminder of my forgetfulness? Will the pot carry this scare of my mistake for the rest of its useful life?
Looking down at the poor pot, I think that if I had to choose, I would rather be this stained pot that endures the heat of the burner and not the water that simply disappears — without a trace — when things get too hot to handle.
I keep scrubbing, wondering if I should just give up. At this point, I can’t tell if I’m making any progress on the stain at all. What progress I think I see, I don’t know if it’s real or imaginary… not at this point.
A bit frustrated, I leave the pot to soak in the sink, thinking I’ll come back to it later.
I wander back to the computer to work on another query letter and submission.
Yes, I keep returning to this, too — wondering if I should just give up. I can’t tell if I’m making any progress. What progress I think I see, I don’t know if it’s real or imaginary… not at this point.
But I’m not ready to give up on my pot of prose. I’m not ready for my dreams to evaporate into thin air… not just yet.
Yes, I would rather be the stained pot that endures the heat of the burner and not the water that simply disappears — without a trace — when things get too hot to handle.
.
A couple of hours later, I got up from the computer. As I left the office, I started to notice a distinct odor coming from the kitchen.
I had forgotten about that pot of boiling water on the stove, which is now only an empty pot with a scorched bottom. The red-hot burner is smiling back at me, daring me to forget its power and existence… ever again!
I have to shake my head at myself. The pot’s stained bottom is yet another reminder of my focus and forgetfulness.
In child-like wonderment, I look around, amazed at how water can simply disappear into thin air, leaving no trace of its prior existence. All I am left with is the stain that sits at the bottom of the pot — its personal badge of courage for quietly enduring the heat of the burner.
As I’m scrubbing the bottom of the pot, I’m wondering if the stain will ever come out or will it act as a constant reminder of my forgetfulness? Will the pot carry this scare of my mistake for the rest of its useful life?
Looking down at the poor pot, I think that if I had to choose, I would rather be this stained pot that endures the heat of the burner and not the water that simply disappears — without a trace — when things get too hot to handle.
I keep scrubbing, wondering if I should just give up. At this point, I can’t tell if I’m making any progress on the stain at all. What progress I think I see, I don’t know if it’s real or imaginary… not at this point.
A bit frustrated, I leave the pot to soak in the sink, thinking I’ll come back to it later.
I wander back to the computer to work on another query letter and submission.
Yes, I keep returning to this, too — wondering if I should just give up. I can’t tell if I’m making any progress. What progress I think I see, I don’t know if it’s real or imaginary… not at this point.
But I’m not ready to give up on my pot of prose. I’m not ready for my dreams to evaporate into thin air… not just yet.
Yes, I would rather be the stained pot that endures the heat of the burner and not the water that simply disappears — without a trace — when things get too hot to handle.
.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Oops, Wrong Number!
We haven’t heard from Ellen DeGeneres yet, but it’s not her fault. We changed to a new phone plan just after we emailed her the first time, so she could, conceivably, have been trying to reach us all this time, using that old number. It’s not likely, but it is possible…
So, we’ve emailed Ellen again, to give her Katherine's new phone number and apologized for any inconvenience we may have caused her.
Then another possible faux pas crossed our minds. We never told her about the blog and how much she is featured in it. We hope that she would be amused — and, possibly, flattered — with the fact that, somehow, she’s become our “virtual mentor” on this journey… but one can never tell about these things.
To cover our bases (a/k/a butts), we wanted to let her know about the blog, just in case she wanted her lawyers to check it out. We don’t want to get into any legal trouble over any of this.
And one other legal matter… just to cover our bases… if, for any chance, her lawyers come knocking on your door, asking questions like:
Did those two ask you to email Ellen, suggesting that Ellen help them out?
Did those two ask you to fill out her online form (http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10) telling her about some delightful blog that you’ve discovered and one in which Ellen was repeatedly mentioned?
Did those two ask you to feed Ellen information about their goals about becoming published and their series of books?
Did those two actually try, through their little blog, to elicit the help of Ellen’s fan base to get Ellen’s attention?
If they ask questions like these, we want you to answer the lawyers truthfully. We never asked you to do those things; but, certainly, we are not opposed to you doing any of those things.
If our friends developed an uncontrollable urge to drop Ellen a line (or two or three) over the next couple of days, weeks, or months, we couldn't stop you… but we would never try to initiate an email campaign of that nature.
No… certainly not us.
.
So, we’ve emailed Ellen again, to give her Katherine's new phone number and apologized for any inconvenience we may have caused her.
Then another possible faux pas crossed our minds. We never told her about the blog and how much she is featured in it. We hope that she would be amused — and, possibly, flattered — with the fact that, somehow, she’s become our “virtual mentor” on this journey… but one can never tell about these things.
To cover our bases (a/k/a butts), we wanted to let her know about the blog, just in case she wanted her lawyers to check it out. We don’t want to get into any legal trouble over any of this.
And one other legal matter… just to cover our bases… if, for any chance, her lawyers come knocking on your door, asking questions like:
Did those two ask you to email Ellen, suggesting that Ellen help them out?
Did those two ask you to fill out her online form (http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10) telling her about some delightful blog that you’ve discovered and one in which Ellen was repeatedly mentioned?
Did those two ask you to feed Ellen information about their goals about becoming published and their series of books?
Did those two actually try, through their little blog, to elicit the help of Ellen’s fan base to get Ellen’s attention?
If they ask questions like these, we want you to answer the lawyers truthfully. We never asked you to do those things; but, certainly, we are not opposed to you doing any of those things.
If our friends developed an uncontrollable urge to drop Ellen a line (or two or three) over the next couple of days, weeks, or months, we couldn't stop you… but we would never try to initiate an email campaign of that nature.
No… certainly not us.
.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Miracles Do Happen!
I’m really excited over the events of tonight!
No, a publisher hasn’t picked us up yet.
No, Ellen hasn’t called yet.
No, Gayle hasn’t called yet.
BUT I did find my prescription sunglasses in the grassy, dark corners of the church parking lot tonight. For some reason, as I was walking to my car after practice the other day, my sunglasses decided to jump out of my purse. I do not know why the glasses would rather lay out in the parking lot all night and day, with cars continually driving through the lot, but they did.
I went back to the church the following night and found the wandering pair just sitting there, under a tree, enjoying the evening breeze, waiting for me to come by and pick them up… No harm came to the pair during our time apart.
My theory: If I was able to find my sunglasses — unharmed — in a dark and damp, unpaved, grassy parking lot in the back of a local church, then our book will be published…
.
No, a publisher hasn’t picked us up yet.
No, Ellen hasn’t called yet.
No, Gayle hasn’t called yet.
BUT I did find my prescription sunglasses in the grassy, dark corners of the church parking lot tonight. For some reason, as I was walking to my car after practice the other day, my sunglasses decided to jump out of my purse. I do not know why the glasses would rather lay out in the parking lot all night and day, with cars continually driving through the lot, but they did.
I went back to the church the following night and found the wandering pair just sitting there, under a tree, enjoying the evening breeze, waiting for me to come by and pick them up… No harm came to the pair during our time apart.
My theory: If I was able to find my sunglasses — unharmed — in a dark and damp, unpaved, grassy parking lot in the back of a local church, then our book will be published…
.
Monday, October 18, 2010
What’s Reality Got To Do With it?
Katherine and I just had one of our friendship book (FB) project meetings.
We’ve fallen in the habit of meeting right after our weekly book club meeting. A small group of us have been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. The book is an oldie but goody. We’d read a chapter a week and get together to discuss the concepts within the chapter and how it applies to our daily activities and our relationships.
It’s after these meetings that Katherine and I meet to go over the progress of our FB project.
We’re having a lot of fun with both meetings. Some nights, these meetings aren’t as productive as they could be, but they are always highly effective in boosting our morale and keeping us connected with each other.
Tonight’s FB meeting was a productive one. We updated the blog and added a couple of features to it; we created a list with the next lucky winners (a/k/a/ possible publishers) to receive our manuscript; we reviewed the couple of leads we were given; we went over the responses we received from our various writing groups regarding whether we should go the traditional publishing route or the self-publishing route. There is lots of advice and debate spewing forth from that one question.
The basic question: Are the two mutually exclusive?
The reason that particular question comes up is that we want Katherine to be able to offer workshops and presentation on the material in the book, but it’s hard to do that when the “book” doesn’t exist yet. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 for us.
Plus, it’s easier to send Ellen DeGeneres a copy of our book, if there’s a book to send her…
Oh! Ellen! No, she hasn’t contacted us, yet — but that doesn’t faze us. She’s just really busy.
Yeah, why live in the real world, when it’s so much more fun to live in the reality that we’ve created for ourselves?
.
We’ve fallen in the habit of meeting right after our weekly book club meeting. A small group of us have been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey. The book is an oldie but goody. We’d read a chapter a week and get together to discuss the concepts within the chapter and how it applies to our daily activities and our relationships.
It’s after these meetings that Katherine and I meet to go over the progress of our FB project.
We’re having a lot of fun with both meetings. Some nights, these meetings aren’t as productive as they could be, but they are always highly effective in boosting our morale and keeping us connected with each other.
Tonight’s FB meeting was a productive one. We updated the blog and added a couple of features to it; we created a list with the next lucky winners (a/k/a/ possible publishers) to receive our manuscript; we reviewed the couple of leads we were given; we went over the responses we received from our various writing groups regarding whether we should go the traditional publishing route or the self-publishing route. There is lots of advice and debate spewing forth from that one question.
The basic question: Are the two mutually exclusive?
The reason that particular question comes up is that we want Katherine to be able to offer workshops and presentation on the material in the book, but it’s hard to do that when the “book” doesn’t exist yet. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 for us.
Plus, it’s easier to send Ellen DeGeneres a copy of our book, if there’s a book to send her…
Oh! Ellen! No, she hasn’t contacted us, yet — but that doesn’t faze us. She’s just really busy.
Yeah, why live in the real world, when it’s so much more fun to live in the reality that we’ve created for ourselves?
.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Too Good To Be True
Through the Aspiring Author search on Facebook, I came across a Publisher’s Writing contest link! The blurb claimed that there is a 1 out of 50 chance of being published. I liked those odds, so I clicked on the link, which unlocked the following message….
**
Error 404 // Page could not be found.
We're sorry, but we can't locate the information you are looking for.
**
Instead of what was printed, my mind’s eye read, “We’re sorry, but we’re only here to crush your dreams.”
Yes. There are thousands and thousands of writing and poetry contests out there, promising that if you win (after paying the registration fee of $$$) you, too, can be published or win cash prizes.
There are “free” writing and poetry contests, and, in my younger years, I entered those once or twice. Each time my piece won its place in their distinguished book of poetry or short stories, along with all the other entries… oh, I mean, winners.
My first letter always started off with, "We receive thousands of poems each year, and we choose only a very few for publication."
Then a second one would come stating that they were so impressed by my style and its “readability” that they wanted my permission to publish the work in audio form as well.
These promotions always ended up with the offer: For $$$, you can purchase this amazing and one-of-a-kind anthology, in which your winning entry appears! I can imagine that many felt compelled to purchase this physical evidence to prove to their friends and family that not everyone thought they were wasting their time with this nonsense. They DO have talent!
As for me, I never purchased one of those books. Back then, just thinking that my pieces were published in some book, sitting on someone’s coffee table, was enough for me.
The Internet has made it easy for predators to take advantage of writers who yearn for prizes and recognition. While there have been few cases of outright "scams" — where contests take a writer's money and refuse to provide the promised prizes or publication — there are others that aren't quite what they claim to be.
There are several "warning" sites that can help alert writers to potential problems. For example, the Winning Writer’s website posts a list of contests to avoid (http://www.winningwriters.com/contests/avoid/av_avoid.php).
I came across another good article and resource on Writing-World.com (http://www.writing-world.com/rights/contests.shtml).
Don’t get me wrong. There are legitimate contests out there. You just need to ask the “write” (hehe) questions before getting involved.
Maybe, one day, Katherine and I will look more closely at writing contests as an option, but that day isn’t today. Most of the writing contests I’ve come across are looking for novels, poetry, and short stories; and that’s not where our literary focus is at the moment.
And at this moment, we have our hands full juggling the number of strategies we’ve already started.
**
Error 404 // Page could not be found.
We're sorry, but we can't locate the information you are looking for.
**
Instead of what was printed, my mind’s eye read, “We’re sorry, but we’re only here to crush your dreams.”
Yes. There are thousands and thousands of writing and poetry contests out there, promising that if you win (after paying the registration fee of $$$) you, too, can be published or win cash prizes.
There are “free” writing and poetry contests, and, in my younger years, I entered those once or twice. Each time my piece won its place in their distinguished book of poetry or short stories, along with all the other entries… oh, I mean, winners.
My first letter always started off with, "We receive thousands of poems each year, and we choose only a very few for publication."
Then a second one would come stating that they were so impressed by my style and its “readability” that they wanted my permission to publish the work in audio form as well.
These promotions always ended up with the offer: For $$$, you can purchase this amazing and one-of-a-kind anthology, in which your winning entry appears! I can imagine that many felt compelled to purchase this physical evidence to prove to their friends and family that not everyone thought they were wasting their time with this nonsense. They DO have talent!
As for me, I never purchased one of those books. Back then, just thinking that my pieces were published in some book, sitting on someone’s coffee table, was enough for me.
The Internet has made it easy for predators to take advantage of writers who yearn for prizes and recognition. While there have been few cases of outright "scams" — where contests take a writer's money and refuse to provide the promised prizes or publication — there are others that aren't quite what they claim to be.
There are several "warning" sites that can help alert writers to potential problems. For example, the Winning Writer’s website posts a list of contests to avoid (http://www.winningwriters.com/contests/avoid/av_avoid.php).
I came across another good article and resource on Writing-World.com (http://www.writing-world.com/rights/contests.shtml).
Don’t get me wrong. There are legitimate contests out there. You just need to ask the “write” (hehe) questions before getting involved.
- Who is running the contest?
- What’s the purpose of the contest?
- How often does the organization run a contest?
- How will entries be judged?
- Is everyone a winner?
- Is there an entry fee? (Make sure the fee is relative to the prize money.)
- What do other writers in your network think?
- Is the payoff worth your time, effort, and entry fee?
Maybe, one day, Katherine and I will look more closely at writing contests as an option, but that day isn’t today. Most of the writing contests I’ve come across are looking for novels, poetry, and short stories; and that’s not where our literary focus is at the moment.
And at this moment, we have our hands full juggling the number of strategies we’ve already started.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Discussion Groups
I threw my name into the sea of other aspiring authors and joined a couple of aspiring writers' discussion groups within Facebook and LinkedIn.
One group on LinkedIn is very active and their members seem very knowledgeable and helpful. Although it is a constant reminder that the journey we’re on is both crowded and rough, my heart is warmed by the online community’s care and the attention each gives to the other.
Granted, whenever you ask a question to a group of people, you’ll rarely get them to agree on anything, but you do receive a lot of information supporting various views and opinions. It’s up to you to sort it out and come up with a solution that bests fits your situation.
And yes, there are some defensive, pompous know-it-all members who listen to no one…but we meet these people everywhere. When I bump into one, I tend to just walk the other way. Live and let live — and just leave me alone, while you’re living, is my motto.
Some actually enjoy the confrontations and hostile banter that come along with such personalities. Others take on the challenge of calmly reasoning with the pompous person, in hopes of facilitating change within that person — to transform the creature into a more humane individual who can live in peace and harmony with others.
Well… good luck with that.
It’s like trying to move an immovable object. You can put all your energy, knowledge, virtue, time, attention, etc. into that one goal — to move that object — and still fail. It doesn’t matter how good you are at persuasive techniques; it doesn’t matter how strong you are; it doesn’t matter how sincere and determined you are in your mission.
None of that matters. Why? …because the object is i-m-m-o-v-a-b-l-e!
Immovable is defined as “incapable of being moved; not capable of alterations; incapable of moment; unyielding…”
And while you’re spending all this time, attention, talent, and energy in trying to move an immovable object, those who would benefit from your love and attention are being ignored and are feeling abandoned.
Now, some people just can’t walk away from a challenge. They ultimately find their satisfaction in breaking the object into pieces and, in essence, walking all over what used to be a solid, functioning source that held on to its own principles, purpose, and mission. Those who choose that path haven’t really moved the object but have destroyed it.
I see people doing this to each other all the time. In their loving attempts to change (i.e., control) their loved ones, they, inadvertently and unconsciously, destroy the uniqueness, the essence, and the brilliance that once existed in the individual and in — what once was — a loving relationship.
The bottom line is: We overestimate our power to change others and underestimate our power to change ourselves. We cannot change people without their openness to change (i.e., no longer an immovable object), their desire for the change, and their active participation in the ongoing process.
Another thing: If a person wants to change and puts effort in the transformation, we can’t take credit for the change — although so many of us do. We may have been a catalyst and an unending, positive support and resource to that person — which are extremely important and we should be proud of our involvement in those areas — but it is to the other person's credit that a transformation occurred; we didn’t do it for him or her.
Gosh! I have no idea how I got off on that tangent, but I tend to do that. I’m sorry… but not sorry enough to change…
.
One group on LinkedIn is very active and their members seem very knowledgeable and helpful. Although it is a constant reminder that the journey we’re on is both crowded and rough, my heart is warmed by the online community’s care and the attention each gives to the other.
Granted, whenever you ask a question to a group of people, you’ll rarely get them to agree on anything, but you do receive a lot of information supporting various views and opinions. It’s up to you to sort it out and come up with a solution that bests fits your situation.
And yes, there are some defensive, pompous know-it-all members who listen to no one…but we meet these people everywhere. When I bump into one, I tend to just walk the other way. Live and let live — and just leave me alone, while you’re living, is my motto.
Some actually enjoy the confrontations and hostile banter that come along with such personalities. Others take on the challenge of calmly reasoning with the pompous person, in hopes of facilitating change within that person — to transform the creature into a more humane individual who can live in peace and harmony with others.
Well… good luck with that.
It’s like trying to move an immovable object. You can put all your energy, knowledge, virtue, time, attention, etc. into that one goal — to move that object — and still fail. It doesn’t matter how good you are at persuasive techniques; it doesn’t matter how strong you are; it doesn’t matter how sincere and determined you are in your mission.
None of that matters. Why? …because the object is i-m-m-o-v-a-b-l-e!
Immovable is defined as “incapable of being moved; not capable of alterations; incapable of moment; unyielding…”
And while you’re spending all this time, attention, talent, and energy in trying to move an immovable object, those who would benefit from your love and attention are being ignored and are feeling abandoned.
Now, some people just can’t walk away from a challenge. They ultimately find their satisfaction in breaking the object into pieces and, in essence, walking all over what used to be a solid, functioning source that held on to its own principles, purpose, and mission. Those who choose that path haven’t really moved the object but have destroyed it.
I see people doing this to each other all the time. In their loving attempts to change (i.e., control) their loved ones, they, inadvertently and unconsciously, destroy the uniqueness, the essence, and the brilliance that once existed in the individual and in — what once was — a loving relationship.
The bottom line is: We overestimate our power to change others and underestimate our power to change ourselves. We cannot change people without their openness to change (i.e., no longer an immovable object), their desire for the change, and their active participation in the ongoing process.
Another thing: If a person wants to change and puts effort in the transformation, we can’t take credit for the change — although so many of us do. We may have been a catalyst and an unending, positive support and resource to that person — which are extremely important and we should be proud of our involvement in those areas — but it is to the other person's credit that a transformation occurred; we didn’t do it for him or her.
Gosh! I have no idea how I got off on that tangent, but I tend to do that. I’m sorry… but not sorry enough to change…
.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Blundering Through This Blogging Business
What have we gotten ourselves into with this blogging business?
I googled a simple question about how to get the word out about our blog, and Google suddenly decided to stop speaking English. It switched over to Klingon or something.
'jIyajbe’ -- which, in Klingon, means, “I don’t understand.” [Yes. I looked it up.]
For example, what the heck are megatagging and pinging?
What are Technorati, Pinggoat, Digg, and Reddit?
After much research, head scratching, testing, and frustration, I figured out what all those jumbled mass of letters meant; and, frankly, I still didn’t care.
I’m not a person who gives up easily, so I continued my research. When articles started suggesting bribing our readers and telling disgusting stories, I lost my desire to increase visitors to our blog.
At this point, we’ll have to be content with sharing our story with our valued few…
I googled a simple question about how to get the word out about our blog, and Google suddenly decided to stop speaking English. It switched over to Klingon or something.
'jIyajbe’ -- which, in Klingon, means, “I don’t understand.” [Yes. I looked it up.]
For example, what the heck are megatagging and pinging?
What are Technorati, Pinggoat, Digg, and Reddit?
After much research, head scratching, testing, and frustration, I figured out what all those jumbled mass of letters meant; and, frankly, I still didn’t care.
I’m not a person who gives up easily, so I continued my research. When articles started suggesting bribing our readers and telling disgusting stories, I lost my desire to increase visitors to our blog.
At this point, we’ll have to be content with sharing our story with our valued few…
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sitting by the Phone
I was listening to Pink’s song, Glitter in the Air, while starting this entry. There’s a line in there that struck me.
“Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone…”
That’s how it is for me each time we send out a query and book proposal. My stupid optimism drowns out all logic. The agents and publishers warn you that it will take them 3 to 6 to 12 months… years… decades… before they respond to your query, IF they respond at all.
Do those proclamations stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day… or the next… or the next… or the next…? Nope
Does the fact that there are thousands of aspiring authors doing the same thing stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Does being told that publishers aren’t willing to take a chance on new authors stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Does being told that nonfiction publishers want only experienced and certified (“authoritative”) authors to write for them stop me from sending them our material and then expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Am I a little naïve and childish in my optimism? Possibly.
Why do I continue to do it? Why do I set myself up for disappointment?
Because having a dream is like believing in magic. When I was a child, I believed in magic. I believed people could float and disappear. I believed a nickel could change into a quarter. I believed a torn newspaper could return to its original state. I believed a rabbit could suddenly appear from nowhere…
When I was a child, I believed in magicians. I believed that magicians could do anything. I believed that they had the power to magically change reality around them to fit their needs.
Over the years, I’ve transferred that child-like belief in magicians to myself. I believe that I have the power to accomplish anything I set my mind to do. I believe in the power of me. Add Katherine’s confidence and abilities to the mix and I have no doubts at all.
So, have I ever hated myself for staring at the phone, having my whole life waiting on a ring to prove to myself that I’m not alone? Nope.
.
“Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone…”
That’s how it is for me each time we send out a query and book proposal. My stupid optimism drowns out all logic. The agents and publishers warn you that it will take them 3 to 6 to 12 months… years… decades… before they respond to your query, IF they respond at all.
Do those proclamations stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day… or the next… or the next… or the next…? Nope
Does the fact that there are thousands of aspiring authors doing the same thing stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Does being told that publishers aren’t willing to take a chance on new authors stop me from expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Does being told that nonfiction publishers want only experienced and certified (“authoritative”) authors to write for them stop me from sending them our material and then expecting an invitation the very next day? Nope.
Am I a little naïve and childish in my optimism? Possibly.
Why do I continue to do it? Why do I set myself up for disappointment?
Because having a dream is like believing in magic. When I was a child, I believed in magic. I believed people could float and disappear. I believed a nickel could change into a quarter. I believed a torn newspaper could return to its original state. I believed a rabbit could suddenly appear from nowhere…
When I was a child, I believed in magicians. I believed that magicians could do anything. I believed that they had the power to magically change reality around them to fit their needs.
Over the years, I’ve transferred that child-like belief in magicians to myself. I believe that I have the power to accomplish anything I set my mind to do. I believe in the power of me. Add Katherine’s confidence and abilities to the mix and I have no doubts at all.
So, have I ever hated myself for staring at the phone, having my whole life waiting on a ring to prove to myself that I’m not alone? Nope.
.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
How Many of Us are Out There?
THIS is something I didn’t need to stumble across…
I was on Facebook, trying to figure out how to get more people reading this blog. As a thought, I searched for Aspiring Author groups, thinking they may enjoy the blog. They probably couldn’t help us, but I didn’t see how they could hurt us, either. Misery loves company, right?
On the night I did this search, there were more than 260 Aspiring Authors groups listed on Facebook, alone. The first 10 groups contained over 12,000 members — just the first 10 groups, on the first blasted page of the list!!!
I ended up posting the blog link on one of the largest groups (on that first page) and am pretty sure that post and link will go absolutely nowhere.
So, with no gain to show for this, I am left with the painful thought that there are thousands and thousands of aspiring authors out there reaching for the same dream we are…and waking up each morning, empty handed.
We are, definitely, not alone in our quest. All these writers are wanting to be seen, heard, appreciated, and affirmed for their talents and abilities… but are not.
As for us…We are not discouraged; we are challenged.
.
I was on Facebook, trying to figure out how to get more people reading this blog. As a thought, I searched for Aspiring Author groups, thinking they may enjoy the blog. They probably couldn’t help us, but I didn’t see how they could hurt us, either. Misery loves company, right?
On the night I did this search, there were more than 260 Aspiring Authors groups listed on Facebook, alone. The first 10 groups contained over 12,000 members — just the first 10 groups, on the first blasted page of the list!!!
I ended up posting the blog link on one of the largest groups (on that first page) and am pretty sure that post and link will go absolutely nowhere.
So, with no gain to show for this, I am left with the painful thought that there are thousands and thousands of aspiring authors out there reaching for the same dream we are…and waking up each morning, empty handed.
We are, definitely, not alone in our quest. All these writers are wanting to be seen, heard, appreciated, and affirmed for their talents and abilities… but are not.
As for us…We are not discouraged; we are challenged.
.
Monday, October 4, 2010
In Search of the Maverick Publisher
Well, while we wait for Ellen and Gayle to contact us, we are going to try our hand at finding those rare but brave publishers who will open their doors to first-time authors like us.
We checked out friendship and relationship books at the bookstores and libraries and copied down the publishers of those books. I researched each publisher, noting if they would accept unsolicited manuscripts or if we needed a literary agent or a recommendation from an established author.
Sad to say, my long list of publishers quickly dwindled to a handful. I keep reminding myself that this is much like playing the lottery. We only need one to come through for us… just one!
This handful of publishers consists of the maverick breed of proud independent publishers. They are small publishing companies who state that they are free from the corporate noose their competitors wear around their literary necks.
This type of freedom gives the independent publishers the ability to pursue quality material and niche market their books.
I admire their spirit but cringe at their submission requirements — i.e., their restrictions and requirements of recommendations, academic credentials in the field, prior publishing history, etc. Their tone is as uninviting and discouraging as the larger publishers.
Quite frankly, if you bypass their Home webpage and skip to their submission webpage, they sound very much like the big New York fellas they purport not to be.
But we’re determined to follow through and contact these publishers, if only to report back to you, Ellen, and Gayle of our progress.
After all, we only need one to come through for us…just one!
We checked out friendship and relationship books at the bookstores and libraries and copied down the publishers of those books. I researched each publisher, noting if they would accept unsolicited manuscripts or if we needed a literary agent or a recommendation from an established author.
Sad to say, my long list of publishers quickly dwindled to a handful. I keep reminding myself that this is much like playing the lottery. We only need one to come through for us… just one!
This handful of publishers consists of the maverick breed of proud independent publishers. They are small publishing companies who state that they are free from the corporate noose their competitors wear around their literary necks.
This type of freedom gives the independent publishers the ability to pursue quality material and niche market their books.
I admire their spirit but cringe at their submission requirements — i.e., their restrictions and requirements of recommendations, academic credentials in the field, prior publishing history, etc. Their tone is as uninviting and discouraging as the larger publishers.
Quite frankly, if you bypass their Home webpage and skip to their submission webpage, they sound very much like the big New York fellas they purport not to be.
But we’re determined to follow through and contact these publishers, if only to report back to you, Ellen, and Gayle of our progress.
After all, we only need one to come through for us…just one!
Friday, October 1, 2010
To Blog or Not To Blog…
One of our ideas was to blog our publishing pursuit, hoping we could get an army of supporters to spread the word.
At first, I thought this was a great idea, but the closer we got to launching this blog, the greater my insecurities grew.
I started to fear that broadcasting our lack of progress to (potentially) the world would send the wrong message.
Don’t be mistaken. It wasn’t the fear of being rejected. It wasn’t the fear of being seen as failures. It wasn’t the fear of being perceived as childish dreamers. None of that bothered me, because I knew none of that is true.
What is playing with my mind is that annoying human need to be understood, to be validated, to be seen, to be heard — to be connected to another human being. We all have that need.
Think about it. Isn’t that one of the most devastating feelings we, as human beings, must endure — to be left alone with our questions, our assumptions, and our active imagination? When we’re left alone with our doubts, dark demons of deception start to materialize in the shadows of the surrounding silence. This silence allows internal insecurities to conjure up all sorts of things to fill that empty space within each one of us.
Yep. That was my fear. We’re trying so hard to reach out to you — wanting to connect with you, wanting you to connect with us and others — that I was afraid our message would float so freely through cyberspace and no one would hear it… no one would see it…
We took the chance anyway, and I’m glad we did. If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have met you.
Thank you for taking the time to read and follow our blog. Your encouraging words and suggestions have given us more energy and support than you can imagine.
You may not have realized this, but once you became part of this blog, you became our partner on this journey.
We really do appreciate your time and attention. No matter how this journey ends, we know we have friends out there that wish us well.
Enough of that… Let’s move on to something else…
.
At first, I thought this was a great idea, but the closer we got to launching this blog, the greater my insecurities grew.
I started to fear that broadcasting our lack of progress to (potentially) the world would send the wrong message.
Don’t be mistaken. It wasn’t the fear of being rejected. It wasn’t the fear of being seen as failures. It wasn’t the fear of being perceived as childish dreamers. None of that bothered me, because I knew none of that is true.
What is playing with my mind is that annoying human need to be understood, to be validated, to be seen, to be heard — to be connected to another human being. We all have that need.
Think about it. Isn’t that one of the most devastating feelings we, as human beings, must endure — to be left alone with our questions, our assumptions, and our active imagination? When we’re left alone with our doubts, dark demons of deception start to materialize in the shadows of the surrounding silence. This silence allows internal insecurities to conjure up all sorts of things to fill that empty space within each one of us.
Yep. That was my fear. We’re trying so hard to reach out to you — wanting to connect with you, wanting you to connect with us and others — that I was afraid our message would float so freely through cyberspace and no one would hear it… no one would see it…
We took the chance anyway, and I’m glad we did. If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have met you.
Thank you for taking the time to read and follow our blog. Your encouraging words and suggestions have given us more energy and support than you can imagine.
You may not have realized this, but once you became part of this blog, you became our partner on this journey.
We really do appreciate your time and attention. No matter how this journey ends, we know we have friends out there that wish us well.
Enough of that… Let’s move on to something else…
.
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