Paradox of Happiness

There’s nothing new on the publishing front, although we are starting to get some wonderfully encouraging letters of hope from the publishers who choose to respond back to us.  They simply love Silhouette of a Friendship…From the Inside Out, but they’ve already set and spent their budget on books for the upcoming year and regret that they have no room to add ours to their lists. 

So, we’ll just keep trying.


Anyway, let me tell you about this very interesting group of men and women to whom I was introduced.  They meet once a month to focus on relationships, communications, etc. — really cool stuff and the subjects our books center around…

At this particular meeting, they were discussing the importance of having a support system around you when you’re going through tough times — for example, when you’re breaking up from a meaningful relationship.

I’m not sure everyone realizes how a strong social support group or relationship is crucial to human survival.  It’s the connection and commitment to others that pulls you through the most devastating experiences.  Simply put, you cannot do it on your own; you need others to survive. 

Not only is this key to your survival, it’s key to your pursuit of happiness.
 

A variety of biological, psychological, religious, and philosophical approaches strive to define happiness and identify its sources.  One dictionary defines happiness as a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.  Ordinary people like you and me have been searching for these components since the beginning of time.  Social psychologists and scientists have been monitoring and prodding their patients/subjects in the hopes of determining exactly which combination of ingredients produces happiness. 

What makes happiness so hard to pin down is that it’s different for each person, and it changes for each person, literally, every day.  What made me happy yesterday may not make me happy tomorrow, because I’ve adapted to a different level of happy.  What made me happy yesterday isn’t enough; I want more… and more… and more.

What social psychologists have been able to determine is that happiness is as contagious as a virus.  If you surround yourself with happy people, you will catch it and be more likely to stay content with what you have around you. 

Another factor is, when you become committed and connected to something that involves other people, your focus is no longer only on your “self” — and what you do or do not have — but on what you can do for others and what makes others happy.  A sense of accomplishment and appreciation accompanies the action of interacting with others.

You need to cultivate social connections and strong social relationships.  It’s imperative to your own survival and happiness.  If you don’t, you will be lost and devastated when adversity comes your way.  

It’s an interesting paradox that, to assure your own survival, you need to focus on other people. 

And it’s a lesson many people wait too long to learn. 

As you can imagine, this main discussion splintered into a host of different other conversations — all fascinating stuff.  I really enjoyed the meeting.

But the one other discussion that I’d like to share with you is the dialogue we had regarding dishonesty… but we’ll talk about that next time.


.