A Cool Morning and Even Cooler Reception

I woke up early this Saturday morning—not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

You see, my fridge is on the fritz.

The refrigerator repairman had promised me he’d come by to check it out on Wednesday, but he didn’t.

He promised we’d get together on Friday, but he didn’t come by.

He promised he’d be here first thing this morning… early enough for breakfast…

I’m not sure what he’s expecting for breakfast, since my refrigerator is on the fritz.

In any case, I’m up early on a Saturday, waiting for my fridge-guy to show up at my front door, to fulfill all my wants, needs, and desires… as they pertain to the refrigerator, that is.

I’ve put everything else on hold for the day, so I can give this guy my full attention.  I’m willing to wait all day — well, a couple of more hours — before calling him, endlessly, until he picks up his phone to explain why he’s blowing me off, yet again!

Why am I letting this guy control my life, at least for today?  It’s because I need something from him.  It’s that self-interest thing again.

Unfortunately, it seems that I need him more than he needs me at the moment, which makes this relationship unbalanced.  He has all the power, which is why he’s holding all the cards and I’m waiting at the door for him, day after day...

So… this is my revelation of the day:  Relationships — and this goes for any type of relationship — is built on each participant needing something from the other. 

All you hard-core romantics may scoff at this, but a relationship — even an intimate, couple/partner relationship — only works if each gives something to the other and that “something” is actually what the other wants.  Once this give-and-take dynamic no longer exists, the relationship no longer exists.

Before you call me a heretic and hang me from my thumbs so I can’t write, think of your various relationships — at home, at work, at the supermarket, at church, at the gym, at support meetings, in volunteer associations, etc.  Each person is there to get something out of one or more persons in those various relationships…

We can’t get around the fact that we all want something from others, even if what we want is friendship, understanding, acceptance, support, love, intimacy, affirmation, encouragement, etc. 

If we can’t get what we want from the people in our current relationships, we go looking for those things elsewhere.

Understanding the fundamental driving force behind your various relationships — and that once you stop supplying what your partner needs, the relationship will end — will help you sustain an ongoing relationship or explain why the last relationship ended.

So, yeah… I’m not sure how much longer I’ll pin my hopes on this particular fridge-guy to come save me from my current predicament.  I may have to end this relationship and find one that will fulfill my needs.

Wish me luck.

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