I ran into an acquaintance the other day. He spent our time together complaining about just how very busy he’s been…
He's working 7 days a week — 12-to-14 hours a day. During his time off, he's volunteering at his church — becoming a member of its finance committee.
Now, he has to post the weekly contributions and generate monthly statements for each contributing member of the church. He has to go to the monthly meetings and review financials with the members.
On top of that, he has to make quarterly presentations to the assembly — to let everyone know where their tithing is going and to encourage them to give even more.
And, for some reason, he felt obligated to help his third cousin's ex-wife's brother's next-door neighbor with another time-consuming project... so he has to do that.
It would be one thing if he was enjoying what he was doing, but from our conversation, it doesn't seem to be the case — at least, that's what he's telling me…
He complains that all these other obligations are pulling him away from his family and friends. He has no time for those closest to him, and they are giving him a hard time over it — and there's nothing he can do about it. Why can't they understand?!
As I listened to him, I wondered if he realized that he didn’t have to do all these “things.” He was actually choosing to do them over other things.
He’s chosen to do all these things, which makes him too busy to spend time with his wife and two boys or visit with his extended family and friends — and he's getting flak from all of them because of it.
He disagreed. Obviously, I don't understand the pressures he's under. He feels so trapped and pressured by everyone around him, and he doesn't like it. Why can't they just leave him alone? How did he get to this point?
I felt the depth of his frustration, but his frustration stems from the consequences of his choices. These consequences are what are feeding his feelings of being trapped and pressured.
To stop his spiraling anxiety, he would have to be willing to change his decision-making pattern — and make different choices. When I suggested this, he gave me a list of reasons why he couldn't stop doing what he's doing. After all, he has to do all these things. That's what no one seems to get!!
As I left him, I wished him the best — and was reminded that it's our choices that keep us apart from each other.
He's working 7 days a week — 12-to-14 hours a day. During his time off, he's volunteering at his church — becoming a member of its finance committee.
Now, he has to post the weekly contributions and generate monthly statements for each contributing member of the church. He has to go to the monthly meetings and review financials with the members.
On top of that, he has to make quarterly presentations to the assembly — to let everyone know where their tithing is going and to encourage them to give even more.
And, for some reason, he felt obligated to help his third cousin's ex-wife's brother's next-door neighbor with another time-consuming project... so he has to do that.
It would be one thing if he was enjoying what he was doing, but from our conversation, it doesn't seem to be the case — at least, that's what he's telling me…
He complains that all these other obligations are pulling him away from his family and friends. He has no time for those closest to him, and they are giving him a hard time over it — and there's nothing he can do about it. Why can't they understand?!
As I listened to him, I wondered if he realized that he didn’t have to do all these “things.” He was actually choosing to do them over other things.
He’s chosen to do all these things, which makes him too busy to spend time with his wife and two boys or visit with his extended family and friends — and he's getting flak from all of them because of it.
He disagreed. Obviously, I don't understand the pressures he's under. He feels so trapped and pressured by everyone around him, and he doesn't like it. Why can't they just leave him alone? How did he get to this point?
I felt the depth of his frustration, but his frustration stems from the consequences of his choices. These consequences are what are feeding his feelings of being trapped and pressured.
To stop his spiraling anxiety, he would have to be willing to change his decision-making pattern — and make different choices. When I suggested this, he gave me a list of reasons why he couldn't stop doing what he's doing. After all, he has to do all these things. That's what no one seems to get!!
As I left him, I wished him the best — and was reminded that it's our choices that keep us apart from each other.
.
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