Relating Over the Internet

I found myself in an awkward situation the other day.  I met a young man over the Internet, and we were conversing through email for 2 days. 

On the first day, he asked if I wanted a picture of his penis.  

Ummm... No, thank you. 

So, on the second day, he attached four pictures of his penis and asked what I thought.

Among other things, I thought that he placed himself in a very vulnerable position… in more ways than one… 

Ignoring the fact that he wasn’t respecting my wishes and wasn’t taking my feelings into consideration, he just sent a stranger compromising pictures of himself that could easily be used against him.  He has no idea what I would do with them.  Such private photos can have negative future effects for him in the hands of an unscrupulous or vindictive person. 

I also thought this young man was being rude, immature, insensitive, and thoughtless.  He opened both of us up to an embarrassing and hurtful situation.  No matter how I respond to this, feelings will be hurt. 

Since I had no idea how to respond to these unsolicited photos, I simply ignored them.  I hoped that this snapshot in time would soon evaporate into a distant memory and quietly dissolve into some invisible Internet cloud to float far, far away from me.

But that Internet cloud came back as a thunderstorm.

This “gentleman” told me how hurt he was.  He trusted me enough to send very private pictures of himself, and I ignored such a gift. 

I told him that I understood his feelings, and I apologized for not responding in the manner that he wanted.  Hurting his feelings was not my intent.  I felt like I was put in a lose/lose situation.  I just knew that whatever I would’ve said would’ve been wrong.  I just didn't know what he wanted from me.

His response to that was that I have low self-esteem and that I need therapy — professional help.  I'm obviously compensating for something missing in my life and am hiding that fact from myself — so that I don't have to deal with it.  He went on to tell me that he’s been with a couple of women and they never complained…

And that’s pretty much the direction the rest of his response took…

I realize this person is only 26 and has a lot to learn, but I am concerned for him, because I fear that he will be hurt more and more if he follows his current path.  There are consequences to one’s actions.  No matter how much you want to fault others — sooner or later — the consequences of your actions will catch up to you. 

Trust is built over a longer period of time than 2 days.  Using the word “trust” in describing a person you’ve only known from 3 or 4 emails will bring betrayal and hurt with it — and indiscriminately sending compromising pictures to strangers will damage your reputation and credibility.

This person may act differently with those he meets face to face, but I would think that the same consideration, precautions, and respect should be given to anyone you meet — no matter where you meet them. 

Am I wrong?

.