Peer Pressure Works Both Ways

The first year on the job, I was told of the company’s fancy Holiday Party.   I was warned that there would be a lot of loud music, a lot of drinking, and a lot of embarrassing — boarding on blackmail-worthy — behavior at the party.  I was also told that — to make sure employees attended — the company made important HR announcements at this company function. 

I don’t drink nor am I comfortable in large, loud, and fancy social gatherings like this one — so, there’s nothing at this party that was appealing to me—but I felt pressured to go… because it was expected of me. 

Because I didn’t want to go — but felt pressured to go — an internal conflict was created within me.  I was full of anxiety and angst about this event.  I was in a panic about what to wear, what to do at the party, how to act, who to sit with, how long to stay… and the list went on and on. 

Yes, the first year with the company, I went to its fancy Holiday Party.  I did not have a good time.

The second year with the company, I did the same thing.  I let my co-workers and supervisors pressure me into going to the Holiday Party, spending hours of my free time wishing that I was someplace else other than “at work.”  I felt the same anxiety and angst over the event as before—and, as before, I did not have a good time.

Luckily, in the third year, the company party fell on a night that I couldn’t attend, and I sent my regrets, instead.  There was no anxiety or angst!  I simply couldn’t go — and I felt so free! 

What was the fallout for not attending a company function of this magnitude?  Nothing, really…

Yes, there was talk about what I missed at the party the next day, and my supervisor updated me on the HR announcements, but that was about it.  There was no Act of God that destroyed my little piece of the world.  The world didn’t stop revolving on its axis.  I was still employed.    

Freedom tasted so good that year that for the fourth year — and every year thereafter — I simply sent in my regrets that I wasn’t attending.   

When asked why I wasn’t attending, I’d answer truthfully.  I went a couple a times and simply didn’t enjoy myself.  That response always got an interesting reaction.  Those asking would agree with me.  They didn’t like going either, but they felt pressured to go…  They never felt that they could say, “No thanks,” without dealing with negative consequences from their superiors. 

But the next year, they joined me in sending their regrets... and guess what?

There was no Act of God that destroyed their little piece of the world.  The world didn’t stop revolving on its axis.  They were still employed. 

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