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Friday, October 19, 2012

It’s Just a Story: Virtual Love Affair – Part 1



I guess it’s appropriate that our last contact is through this portal.  After all, this is where we first met.

When I look back, I can see how our relationship was created by this game.  


We were strangers coming together in a fantasy world — pretending to be people we were not. I purposely picked an avatar that was strong and self-confident, but was also innocent and submissive under the right protector. 

When I was new to the game, you took notice of me.  You took me under your wing.  You were my guide, my protector, my companion.   You stood tall and masculine.  You held confidence in your hands like the Excalibur sword you wielded.  Little did I know that, one day, that sword would be turned against me… to tear into my heart.

But in the beginning, I didn’t foresee that.  It was too easy to keep the fantasy going, where we can pretend to be more than we were — more accomplished… more understanding… more caring… more confident… more mature… more intimate… more stable. 

I surrendered myself to your world — to a world full of action, speed, and strategy.  Every day, we purposefully risked our lives in the game and never had to pay the consequences of those actions.  We could be reckless with our lives, daring death to take us; and when it did, we simply lost counterfeit materials.  There was no physical pain, no emotional grief, and no loss of life.  When we died, we simply resurrected from our own ashes.  

When things became too overwhelming between us, we simply logged off.  When we didn’t have the energy to interact with each other, we simple zoned out… into the game. 

Yes.  It was too easy to keep the fantasy going.  It was too easy to fall in love with the characters we’ve created; and that’s what we did.  We fell in love with the characters and not the real persons that we are.

You were a master at the game… so good at living your lies… so good at shielding your “self” from others… and from me. 

And I needed so badly to believe in you.  I wanted you to dominate my senses… dominate my being…dominate me.  I wanted to believe in your virtues.  I wanted to believe in your stories.  I wanted to believe in your lies. I wanted to believe in you…  I wanted to believe…


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