Fingers Continued to be Crossed

Well, I dropped Ellen DeGeneres another update on our pursuits of becoming published. 

I told her about the English publisher who sent us a questionnaire to complete AFTER they read our Silhouette of a Friendship…From the Inside Out. 

I see that as a good sign… because why would they want more information about us if they could care less about the book?  No reason that I can think of…

I told her about contacting Teen Line and asking them if they wouldn’t mind giving us feedback on our teen book.  Their answer was very sad to me… not that they don’t have the time… but WHY they don’t have the time. 

Teen suicide is on the rise, and they have been dealing with more serious and frequent suicide attempts and… well, they are afraid that they wouldn’t be able to get to the book any time soon.

They got no argument from me.  I rather they spend their time helping the teens…

On a lighter note, our children’s book is being tested by kids.  Early feedback that’s coming in is that the kids love the book, the story, the characters, the lessons…  All great feedback!

So, we’ve just started sending samples to children’s book publishers, to see what they have to say.  I’m hoping they have a child’s heart… or, at the very least, some type of heart…

We’re keeping our fingers crossed…

Hopefully, Ellen is doing the same for us.

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The Blame Game

I need to let the sequel to the children’s book sit for a while before I go through it again to tweak sections and proof the book.  I’m fighting with the storyline.  It’s not where I want it to be, because I liked the first version so much better than this one — but I have to keep in mind our audience… I’m here to please them, not me…

That’s why it’s always good to have an objective second, third, or fourth person with “fresh eyes” to look at your material.  That person can see things that you can no longer see.  If you don’t have a second person to look at your work, then you should put it aside for a while to give your memory’s eye time to forget what it thinks it sees.  Then you can go back and see with “fresh eyes” — as if you’re that second person.

Anyway, that’s what I’m trying to do now… I’m trying to wait; and, as I told you before, patience is not my strong suit. 

In the meantime, I’m trying to think of a way to summarize this second book.  Basically, it deals with how hard it is for some to accept the consequences of their actions… while others accept the blame for things that are beyond their power to control.

It’s interesting to see this play out in reality.  If these two types happen to find each other, they may make a compatible team — one always blaming the other and the other willing to accept the blame — but for the most part, we simply pass that hot potato of blame down to some unsuspecting person further down the blame line...

Blaming others is contagious and is passed along like a virus.  Merely being exposed to someone blaming you of something causes you to want to turn around and blame someone else.  Blame is like that hot potato you pass down to the next player who gets burned.   The last person in line finds himself being blamed for some completely unrelated failure — to which he has no defense. 

If everyone in this game gets burned, why do so many people play along?

The motivations behind this blame game are natural. As we’ve said before, there is a human need to be accepted and liked.  Most people want to look good in the eyes of their friends, family, coworkers, etc., so they don’t want to bear the shame of being responsible for a problem — to be viewed as less than perfect.  In the workplace, being responsible for an error may carry with it penalties, such as reprimands, pay deductions, demotions, terminations, etc.  As a result, people will pass the blame on rather than dealing with it, which can be especially frustrating for people who are genuinely not involved with the issue.

The temptation is huge to keep passing the buck and point the finger elsewhere when you make a mistake — after all, everyone else does it.  Just because everyone else does it, doesn't make it the right thing to do.  Just because it’s easier to pass the blame on to someone else, doesn’t make it the right thing to do. 


Anyway... I'm thinking of starting the book with this little thought:

The Blame Game

I was told that

Every good story

Needs a bad guy

Someone to blame

Someone to dislike

Someone to fight against

But on whom do I place blame

When it’s me

Who is wrong?

Who do I dislike

When it’s me

Who has done the harm?

Who do I fight against

If it’s me

Who’s being mean?

On whom do I place blame

If it’s me

Who’s the bad guy?

Yes, who do I find to blame?

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Cloud Nine!

Remember Mom bribing — I mean, commissioning — her friend’s 10-year-old daughter to read our children’s book (blog entry: Encouraging News)?

Well, our little tester finished the book; and, the other night, I had a little telephone interview with her.

She’s a very articulate and bright little girl and was very eager to tell me what she thought about the book.   

She won me over in her first sentence… when she said that she thought the book must have been written by some famous author; it was THAT good!

She mentioned how her mother always has to nag her to read 40 minutes each night for school; but when she started this book, she became inspired to read.  She didn’t need her mother to remind her, and she read longer than she had to read.   The reading level was just perfect for her.

She thought Billy was a normal kid — which translated, to me, that she easily related with the protagonist and identified with him, his feelings, and what he was going through. 

She really liked the way the adults talked to Billy and liked the various lessons throughout the story.  She liked all the characters, except for creepy Mr. T — the bad guy — but she recognized that she wasn’t supposed to like him. 

She did give me some advice for my next book.  She said that I must always have a bad guy in the story.  The bad guy keeps the story interesting and moving along.  [Got it!]

I asked if there was a section she would change, if she could.  She mentioned an intense scene that — although she was fine with it — she thought younger kids would become upset with it.  I told her that we were aiming for the age group of 9 to 12 and asked if she thought that was a good age range for the book.  She totally agreed and thought that would be perfect.  [Got it!]

My little tester did a fabulous job for me.  Her comments about the intense scene were very telling.  Although this first book is fine, I’ll have to revamp the second book in this series, because that book is even more intense than this one.  It’s good to know how far I can go with this age group.

I can’t get over what great feedback my little tester gave me!  Most kids — and adults, for that matter — would just say they liked the book and that would be the end it.  Feedback like that is really nice for the ego, but it doesn’t really help the person asking for the feedback. 

Most people are afraid to give their honest opinion about things when asked, because they are afraid of hurting the other person’s feelings.  

I don’t want my feelings hurt either, but there is a way of sharing our opinions and feelings without hurting someone else’s feelings in the process.   We just have to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and phrase the comments in a way that wouldn’t hurt our feelings if we were on the other end of the criticism.

Anyway… I can go on and on about giving and receiving criticism, but I’ll stop here…

I just can’t get over how this little girl, who hates to read, kept thanking me for letting her read my book…

I’m on Cloud Nine!!!

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Keeping Fingers Crossed

Remember the blog about the publisher that asked to see more of Silhouette of a Friendship… From the Inside Out (i.e., an earlier blog entry: It’s in Someone Else’s Hands)?

Well, they wrote back and sent an extensive questionnaire for us to complete. They called it a new author media questionnaire.  They wanted to find out our ability in promoting our book: our contacts, our media affiliation, our publishing history, our connections with the media (TV, radio, special events, speaking engagements, book signings, etc.), our depth in online marketing and distribution, etc.  Basically, they wanted to know what we’re able to do to promote and sell this book of ours… before they go out on a limb for us.


Well, we’ve tried our best to get noticed by publishers and celebrities alike, but it’s darn hard to get anyone interested in a book that hasn’t been published yet.  We tried explaining this phenomenon to publishers, reassuring them that once we’re published, our focus will switch to launching and promoting the published book… with their help, of course.

So, although we are, hopefully— fingers-crossed — one step closer to becoming published, filling out this media questionnaire is pretty overwhelming for first-time authors who have never launched a book before.  Add to that that this publisher is in the UK and we are in the US... and things can’t get any more complicated…well, I hope they can’t.

But we answered the questionnaire the best we could.  I hope it was enough.

Please, keep your fingers crossed for us.



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What is Confidence?

This HARO (help a reporter out) queries are interesting.  This last query had a reporter asking what traits make up a confident person.

That’s an interesting question.  I know that skill and talent have nothing to do with a person’s level of confidence.  I know people who are extremely talented and skilled, but their lack of self-confidence stops them from succeeding. 

At the other end of the spectrum, I know plenty of self-confident people who display no skill or talent whatsoever, but that minor detail doesn’t stop these people one bit!

I remember one agitated person coming to me, complaining, “I thought you told me she can sing!”

“No… I never said she could sing.  I said that she was planning to sing a song for the program.  There’s a difference.”

The person responded, “Well, after her performance, I told her she sounded great, because I felt really bad for her…  But really!!!  Who told her she can sing!!!”

“Ummm… people like you, who go up after a performance and tell her she sounded great…”

Yes.  Confidence has little to do with talent or skill.  It has to do with how others react to us. 

Yes.  Self-confidence comes from within us, but first our self-confidence must be ignited by someone else.

Before I can believe in myself… before I can have confidence in my abilities… before I can like myself… I have to realize that there is something in me that is actually “likable” to others, that is admired by others, that is valued by another person.  Someone has to show me this fact.  Someone has to prove this to me before I can believe it to be true — before I can see it in myself.

Our self-image mirrors the reflections of those faces around us.  If your family and friends showered you with compliments as you grew up, they filled you with confidence.  Because you were shown early on that you were someone special, you are confident and comfortable with yourself today.

If positive influences have positive effects, then the opposite is true as well.  If those I respect and admire think I am great, then I must be great.  If they think I am worthless, then I must be worthless.

 If I am told every day that I’m not good enough or that I’m a failure, I will start to believe it.  I would lack confidence in my abilities. 

So, confidence has very little to do with talent and skill.  It has to do with our perception of ourselves; and our self-portrait of ourselves has to begin with what others tell us about ourselves.

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I Want to Be a Big Rock!

Well, Katherine and I signed up for HARO.  Hundreds of queries come in every day, in the form of three emails.

It’s interesting to see what subjects capture reporters’ attention.  Online dating is a big one; business and finance is a huge category…

I did “pitch” for one of the queries, but I doubt I’ll get picked up.  The query dealt with email inbox hell… asking if you are disorganized and overwhelmed by your email inbox, and how that affects your business…

I added a spin to it… where I manage my emails, so I’m not overwhelmed, but my writing partner has a “different” way of managing hers, and somehow my emails always get pushed to the bottom and forgotten…  never to be responded or addressed…

Now, some may say that I’m pretty dense.  Don’t I get it?  My partner is sending me a signal that she finds my emails annoying and unimportant… and rather not deal with them or me…

My emails?  Unimportant?  Never!!!  

Me? Unimportant? Never!!!

I did tell her how I feel when she doesn’t respond to my emails.  She explained that her email box is so cluttered all the time that she tries to deal with the unimportant junk mail first, to declutter the box… then when she gets to my emails, there’s just no time to read them… although she thinks they are very important.  Instead of responding to my emails, she simply files them in her AM file, to be answered later... but later never comes.

So, she deals with the unimportant junk mail and files the important matters away — unread, unanswered, and unaddressed. 

This reminds me of the Stephen Covey exercise… Do the Big Rocks First.  The idea is that everyone has the same amount of hours in a day, week, month, etc.  This limited resource — your time — is represented by a bucket.  Within your time limitations, you have all these things you have to take care of — which are represented by rocks of various sizes.  The trick is how to fit all of the rocks into the bucket.

See what happens….Do The Big Rocks First!

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HARO

Have you heard of Help a Reporter Out (HARO) [http://www.helpareporter.com/]?  

I haven’t tried it yet.  In fact, I haven’t talked to Katherine about this, yet—so I can’t really give you a report on it, but the concept sounds neat, and it is free. 

The theory behind HARO is that everyone is an expert at something and this website matches everyday experts with reporters who need your particular expertise to complete their article, feature, or story. 

Once you sign up as a resource, the website will send you a daily email, listing the media queries.  All you have to do is keep an eye out for those specific media queries you’re qualified to comment on and act as a source.

If one of the queries matches your expertise, then simply respond to the reporter; and you and the reporter can help each other out.  You can help the reporter with the article, and the reporter can help promote you to a larger and established audience.

If you happen to be a reporter, you'll be able to tap into over 80,000 sources who will respond to you directly.


Like I said, it is a neat concept.



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Nothing’s Free

My dad was a dreamer, too.

He’d always fill out those Publishers Clearing House mailers, expecting to win what was promised in the letters.

Each time they came, he’d sit down and diligently complete the forms, attaching this stamp to that form, making sure they were within the designated lines, because if they weren’t perfectly aligned, his entry would be disqualified.

I remember one of the last times we were together, before he went into the hospital.  He was working on a PCH mailer.  He’d ask my opinion on what color car should he request and which sticker he should attach.  We’d sit down together and discuss the various options and come up with something he felt good about.

Dad died never winning the PCH, but it never stopped him from trying or believing that one day he would.

Funny thing is… soon after he died, I started getting the PCH mailers at my house.  They hadn’t come to me before, but suddenly, they started showing up in my mailbox.

I couldn’t help myself.  I had to continue Dad’s dream of one day winning that PCH check.  I couldn’t let him down. 

So, each time the PCH mailer comes to me, promising the $10 million check, I laugh at myself, because I know that I’ll be spending the night, going through the package, sorting out the stamps, searching for this official sticker to stick on that official form… just like my dad did…

But they’ve added a twist to this exercise.  They’ve added an online entry form that you must enter a special code to receive a prize of your choice. 

The problem is that you have to go through pages and pages of advertizing and “tricks” before you can complete your official entry form to claim your prize.  You have to maneuver through pages and pages of offers that you’re not interested in and find the correct button to proceed  without signing up for anything along the way…

It’s a maze of marketing propaganda to get through.  I’m not sure that I did it successfully.  I’ll guess I’ll find out when my new laptop does or does not arrive.

In the meantime, I’m dealing with new scams and advertizing emails assaulting my email box every 20 minutes now.  I’m spending my days unsubscribing to things that I never subscribed to in the first place…well, I didn’t realize I had subscribed to in the first place.

I’m sure my email address has been sold to dozens of marketing companies by now, all because I entered the PCH entry code from the mailer.

I have to shrug it off.  Live and learn. 

Nothing’s free in this world… but it’s always nice to dream.

Yep.  I inherited my dad’s good nature and optimistic view on life.  I’m a dreamer like he was…

And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.


Thanks, Dad....



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The Business of Promoting

I’m really not into this promoting stuff!  That’s Katherine’s area.

But people keep telling me that I should do more in promoting this blog… to increase its followers, subscribers, readers… blah, blah, blah…

So… I’ve added the blog to a number of free blogging lists to see if that would increase our reach and make us more visible. 

So far, it’s made us more visible to those who want something from us — other than that…

But to be fair, I should give it some time — at least more time than the 72 hours I’ve given it thus far…

Yeah.  Patience is not one of my strengths.




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Decisions, Decisions!

Well, you already know that it doesn’t take much to get me to switch directions on projects.  All it took this time was one child who doesn’t like to read to become excited about reading our book to get me to change my focus back to that book.

So, I’m re-proofing the book (again and again), trying to get it ready to submit it to publishers.  I sent it out to one of those electronic submission managers, already.  It irritates me when they limit the amount of text and sample files.  How can I adequately describe our work in the 100-character field?!   GRRRRR!

Anyway, it is what it is; and I just have to do the best I can with what it is.

Now, I’m going back and forth with myself, trying to figure out which is the best strategy.  I only have one chance to make a good first impression — and practice makes perfect.

Following those two natural laws, which publishers do I contact first? 

Do I send to the ones I really want to pick us up or do I start with the secondary list — so I can screw up with the secondaries first without hurting my chances with my first picks?  [Practice makes perfect, remember!]

But if I send to the secondaries and they want the book, I’ve lost my chance with the primaries.  I can always say no to the secondaries, but if I pass up the chance with the secondaries and the primaries don’t want us… then where am I?

And I won’t know any of the outcomes of my decisions for 6-to-12 months out into the future!!!

Yeah!  I’m just a mess!

First things first…. I have to finish proofing the book and then I can obsess about whom to send what… later…


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Where Would I Be If I Wasn't Standing in My Way?

This is an interesting video by P.J. Eby.  It deals with getting rid of a negative belief that is preventing you from achieving some project or goal...

Don't feel that you have to view it, if you don't want to.  I just thought it was interesting.  It takes about 38 minutes to watch...

http://5daystochange.com/day2-belief.html

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Encouraging News

Well, my mother commissioned — well, bribed — her friend’s 10-year-old daughter to read our children’s book. 

It turns out that this little girl does not like to read.  She’s into video games and such. 

For school, she is required to read at least 40 minutes a day and must write down the title of the book she’s reading and the author.  She has agreed, for a slight fee, to read Circus Summer for school.

Her mother informed my mother — who just informed me — that the little girl started the book and is really excited about it!  She’s even reading more than the 40 minutes that she’s required to for school!

This is simply unheard of in that household!!!!

She’s not done with the book yet, but she’ll be happy to tell me what she thinks of it when she’s done with it.


Because she's so excited about the book, her brother wants to read it too!  He's 12 and hates to read too.  The problem is that he wants to start the book before his sister is finished with it, so they are constantly fighting over the book.

Fighting over a book!  This is simply unheard of in that household!!!!

Now, I’m not naïve.  I know the money Mom offered enticed them to read the book in the first place.  I’m not stupid — but I’m still holding on to the thought that these kids, who don’t like to read, are enjoying this book!

This is totally AWESOME!!! 


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April Fools

Get ready!  Today’s April Fools' Day—a day to watch out for practical jokes and general foolishness.

I was going to come up with a couple jokes for the blog — something like Ellen finally called or a publisher was interested in one of our books — but then I realized that the jokes would be on us… and we’re no fools…

We’re no fools for following our dreams.  We’re no fools for believing in ourselves.  We’re no fools for working so hard at this. 

We may be dreamers; we may be in over our heads; we may be a couple of Pollyannas; we may be out of our minds; but we ain’t no fools!




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