Getting the Word Out

With the writing of the first book done, it’s time to turn some of our attention to promotion.  I’m relying on Katherine to spearhead this part, because she has the experience in giving workshops and presentations — and she holds the confidence that she can share our message to a banquet hall full of people, with no problem.   The only reason why she hasn’t done this yet is because she’s waiting on the book to be in our hands.

I know… I know!  Technically, we still don’t have a book in our hands, but we will soon… <fingers crossed>

In the meantime, we’ve begun strategizing as to what avenues would work best for our goals. 

 

I told you about a therapist group proposing a workshop for a maximum of 20 people.  That got us thinking:  Doing relationship workshops for this small group may not be the best way of getting our message out — especially, if we want to reach as many people as possible… as quickly as possible. 

It may be better if we focused on a different path — one that already has a larger, built-in audience.  For example, one fifteen-minute interview  for a TV or radio talk show has the potential of reaching hundreds and hundreds of people in one broadcast — depending on the interviewer’s audience base.   

Think about it:  Doing a TV or radio interview would reach a much larger audience than 20 people at a time.  Also, they post and archive their programs on their websites.  This allows those who weren’t able to hear the live program to replay the program at a later time.  This Internet access and replay ability can give even more people the opportunity to learn about what we’re doing.

While we’re on the subject of the World Wide Web, there are also a number of bloggers who like to interview authors and share these interviews with their readers.  

Such collaboration is good for both the interviewer and interviewee.  The interviewer is able to provide guests for his or her program, while the interviewee gets her or his message out to a wide variety of people. 

So, once we get the book in our hands — which will be soon <fingers crossed> — that’s the next step we’re going to take.

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A Hard Pill to Swallow

I’m still reading Dr. Burns’ book, Feeling Good Together. 

Dr. Burns prescribes a hard pill for us to swallow.  

Basically, he says we get out of relationships — and life — exactly what we put into them.  Because we create the problems that we complain about, we have to accept our role in our conflicts and troubled relationships.

OUCH!!!  That’s awfully hard to swallow!

No! That can’t be true!  We’re not the troublemakers.  We’re the innocent victims in all of this.  We can — and are eagerly prepared to — list all the reasons why it’s the other person’s fault and not ours…

And as we relentlessly defend ourselves — and righteously blame others — we prove Dr. Burns right.

Once we accept his diagnosis, it’s up to us to follow his professional advice — which is to actually stop and listen to what the other person is trying to tell us — and find the piece of truth in their criticism… no matter how painful it may be to admit to it.

His book gives examples, encourages us to do exercises, and outlines techniques to effective communication that can diffuse difficult situations. 

And as I’m reading the book, I’m struck with the feeling that it’s a lot of work to effectively communicate and diffuse volatile situations — and he expects me to be the one making ALL the effort — while my friends, family, co-workers, etc. are reaping the rewards of all my hard work.  How is that fair?  Why is it that I’m doing all the work?  Shouldn’t there be some give and take in all of this? 

Yes, but there are two things to remember in all of this. 

The first thing to always remember is:  We can’t change others, only ourselves.  If we want to change our relationships with others, we have to change ourselves.

And the second thing is:  Even though it’s frustrating at times, if you love whomever you’re fighting with, you’ll do what is necessary to diffuse the situation, break down barriers, and become closer to each other. 

Even if it means you have to swallow your ego to do it... and that's such a hard pill to swallow.

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“BUT” is Such a Scary Word!

I had another one of my dreams.  Even though it was a simple and short scene, it was interesting — interesting enough to set to paper.

Once on paper, it turned out to be a very intriguing scene, with the potential to turn into something I imagined could be used in workshops and meetings — to elicit discussion and group interactions…

With that in mind, that one scene lead to another… and another.

I shared the written scenes with Katherine, and wondered if she and her friends would like to act out the scenes — to generate discussions for their meetings.  Her groups were always looking for topics to discuss…

Katherine agreed that her groups were always looking for topics to discuss, and she knew of several people who would jump at the chance to act out the scenes with her, but…

[BUT… is such a scary word — especially coming from Katherine.]

But... Katherine liked the scenes soooo much that she didn’t want to stop at a couple — just to be used to generate discussion in social gatherings.

 

She wants us to develop a whole play and progress the story.  Once the play is complete, she has acquaintances who have the resources to produce and perform the play.  We could perform it live, video tape it, and/or produce an audio version of it.

She understands all this would require more time, effort, and work on my part — more than I originally intended and, possibly, wanted to put into it — but…

[BUT… is such a scary word — especially coming from Katherine.]

But what I’ve written so far is too good just to be treated as a simple discussion aid, in her opinion.

O…..K….

So, I write — what I thought — is a nice little play, but Katherine wants more.

So, I keep adding scene after scene, and Katherine keeps telling me we need another and another…

I see the same thing that has happened to our book is happening to the play.

We can never finish a project, because Katherine keeps wanting more… and more… and more…

Yes… her suggestions always make the projects better, BUT if we never finish a project… well, we’ll never finish…

Hopefully, during my lifetime, one of these projects will see the light of day, BUT…

In the meantime, I’m on a new writing adventure… adding aspiring playwright to aspiring author…

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But Where’s My Piece of Cake?!

Yes, I enjoyed the women’s retreat.  I really did, but do you remember that little carrot — no, that piece of chocolate cake — that Katherine dangled in front of me to get me there?

We were supposed to have time together to work on our book.  We were supposed to finish the new section that Katherine wanted added.  This weekend was supposed to move us leaps and bounds ahead on this project.

Well, as you may have guessed, that didn’t quite happen. 

So, everything is postponed for a bit longer…

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She’s a Sly One, She is!

I’m still going over it in my head.  I’m not really sure exactly how she managed it…

We were sitting at Applebee’s, discussing the book.  I was telling her that I wasn’t prepared to wait another two months to get this new section — that she wanted— added into the book.

She agreed, but she didn’t have any free time for another couple of weeks, unless…

Katherine:  “Unless you come to the women’s retreat this weekend with me.  Then we can work on the section during the lunch break on Saturday… and again at the dinner break…”


Me:    “but…”


Katherine:  “OH!!! and if we can get a group of women to go through the book with us, and get their feedback and…  OH!! This would be wonderful.  Just think of it!!! I’m so excited about this idea!!!  I’ll bring the laptop and, this time, I’ll remember the manuscript with my notes…and…”

She went on and on… so excited that she was jumping up and down in her chair with every new thought she uttered. 

I met her excitement with growing dread.  I sat there shaking my head and pressing my lips closed tightly.  

She’s been inviting me to these weekend gatherings for a month now, and I haven’t had a weekend free to attend any of them. 

Truthfully, I’m not much into large gatherings, retreats, etc.  They aren’t in my comfort zone.  I enjoy small, intimate gatherings with one or two people. 

Katherine knows that about me, and feels that interacting with larger groups would be good for me.  It will get me out of my comfort zone and expand my experiences.

I know she’s right, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m uncomfortable with the thought of it.

It’s like telling me that I should eat more broccoli and spinach because they're good for my health.  Intellectually, I know that to be true, but it doesn’t stop me from going for the chocolate cake, instead.

So, the more she chats about the weekend, the more I dread my fate... because I know — in the end — I will surrender. 

Me:    “Katherine, you know what you’re doing?  Suggesting that we work on the book at the retreat is like dangling a carrot — no, dangling a piece of chocolate cake — in front of me.  You’re using the one thing that I can’t say “no” to…”


Katherine:  “I’m only doing it to you because I think it really will be good for you.  You’ll gain something from the retreat that you never knew you were missing.  Trust me…"


Me:    “And I’ll have my car, so I can leave anytime I want, if it becomes too much for me…”


Katherine:  “Yes, you will have your car and will be free to leave anytime you want… but you’ll enjoy the retreat… you’ll see!  It starts on Friday 3:00 and if you can get the day off, then we can…”

I sat there, just shaking my head…

Yes.  She’s a sly one, she is!

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What Have I Gotten Myself Into?!

 

I ask myself this question almost daily now…  

What have I gotten myself into?!

Katherine and I made lunch plans to work on — what I had hoped would be — the finishing touches of the final version of our book. 

Yes, I’m still trying to encourage Katherine — short of chaining her to a chair — to sit still long enough for us to put this first project to bed.  She still needs to read the book through — cover to cover — and give the OK for us to move on.  We can’t move forward until she does that.

You see, Katherine — lovely person that she is — suffers from two common, modern-day diseases. 

#1:    She’s a master “multitasker” — She doesn’t focus on one thing for any length of time.  She’s involved in three or four things at a time.  She’s late for most things because she over-commits.  She tends to cancel things at the last minute... because she over-promises from the start… 

#2:    She’s also a perfectionist — She’s never satisfied with what she has accomplished.  She always wants more… always striving for more.  Projects are never “completed” because they can always be better.

How does all this affect the progress of our book?  Well, the fact that she can’t devote 30 minutes at a time, to sit down and read the book, makes it difficult for her to get through the entire book…

And when she does sit down for a couple of minutes at a time, she thinks of all the things we don’t have in the book, instead of focusing on what we have tackled in the book.  I swear that she wants this first book to capture all the answers to every question uttered by every man and woman who lived on Planet Earth… starting with Adam and Eve.

Now, mix in my impatience with her tendencies toward multitasking and perfectionism — well, let’s just say that we’re getting nowhere fast on completing the final draft of our book together.

I was really hoping that our lunch meeting would move us leaps and bounds ahead; and I was encouraged when she pulled out her laptop and started booting it up. 

But those hopes were squashed when she mentioned that, in her haste to meet me, she forgot to bring the printed manuscript that contained all her notes.  Without that printed manuscript, we couldn’t discuss her changes…but she knew she wanted to add yet another section to the book, so it would encompass even more….

As I choked down my disappointment, I agreed to work on a new section with her, because it would add to the book… but she had to promise me that this was going to be the last time!!  This adding more and more stuff had to stop at some point!!  We can’t publish the book if we never finish writing it!!

Yes, yes… she agreed.

I asked when we could get together again to pull together that new section.

Katherine:  “Well, let me think.  It’ll have to wait for a couple of weeks, because I’ve got all this other stuff to do...”


Me:  “Katherine, I don’t want another two months to go by…”


Katherine:  “I know, I know… but… I don’t have any free time…. unless…OH!  unless…”

When she outlined her plan to me, all I could think of was….

Now what have I gotten myself into?!

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Share Your Light

I got one of those annoying update notices from a business network website.  It was telling me who changed their profile, who’s linking up with whom, who wanted me to join their network, etc.

Because I don’t have much contact with these individuals, I usually just delete the emails without opening them, but for some reason, I opened this one.

In the email, one of my old high school acquaintances looked back at me.  She looked like she was on a sailboat, having fun.  The picture made me happy for her, so I looked down at her recent post.

It was a post that took my breath away.  The post was actually a memorial to her.  It stated that:

 

She was an intelligent and courageous woman. She had the courage of trying to reach for her dream of running a successful assisted-living facility. Her dream was bigger than reality could allow. Sadly, when she recognized this, she was unable to cope with it, and she took her own life on October 19, 2010. She will always be remembered for her loving, joyous, and bubbly personality.

Even though this happened in 2010 and we're embarking on 2012, I sit here numb… and wishing that I had done something more than I had. 

If I had done something, would she have made a different decision?

You see… about two years ago, she found me on this business network website and invited me to join her on this network and on Facebook.  She said that we had gone to high school together and were the best of friends back then.  Even though she was in Texas and I was in Florida, she wanted to reconnect.

I couldn’t remember her as well as she remembered me, but I accepted her invitations, nonetheless. 

Soon after that, she called me.  She recounted scenes from high school like they were yesterday. She’d rattle off names from the past and revealed her mission to reconnect with all her close high school friends.  Those years were the happiest times for her.  Her goal was to resurrect those connections.


In this first contact, she was so happy, bubbly, and full of energy that she spooked me a bit.  I remember mentioning the phone conversation to Katherine, commenting on the intensity of her need for connection — and how sad it was that she was having to reach out thousands of miles away and to years gone by — to the high school years — to find the connections she was thirsting for…


She called me a couple of times after that — and we’d spend hours together over the phone.  In those calls, she told me of her failing business and how that was negatively affecting her marriage... but she’d always end our conversations saying how much I made her feel better… how I made her laugh…  She was always upbeat and excited when we hung up.


This makes me wonder:  If I had called her more, would things be different?


It’s a sobering reminder for the New Year:  We don’t realize how important our presence is to another human being.  We don’t realize how, even as strangers, we can reach out to others — through an understanding smile, an encouraging compliment, a phone conversation, a simple FaceBook post.  We can share our light with others, even if it’s only for a brief moment.


We don’t know what others are going through in their lives.  We don’t know what battles are being lost or what struggles are being managed. 


We only know that our actions affect others.  If we could use the power held in the gifts of focused attention and positive connections more, we could abolish a host of negative and draining emotions that live within others and us. 


Just as the absence of light sustains darkness, the absence of relationships highlights the necessity of them.  Loneliness and despair grow in the dark abyss of one’s soul when the light of human contact is absent.  By reaching out to another and openly sharing ourselves (i.e., our “inner light” or our energy) — even in the smallest of ways — we can dispel the darkness in another human being — if only for that brief moment — and it only takes a moment to affect someone’s inner light.

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Darn it! I Can’t Focus!

I’m trying to go through Dare to Be Contagious! yet another time, to catch more typos and grammatical errors.  I’m trying to clarify things here and there, while inserting artistic nuances I know no one (but me) will see…

Like I said, I’m trying to do all this, but I’m not being very successful at it.

My mind is too distracted with the news Katherine brought me the other night.  

As I understand it, she has connected with a couple of new friends, who are wanting to start up regular workshops and presentations.  They are successful in their business.  They simply want to expand their reach and want Katherine to be a part of their ensemble.  They want to start locally but plan to go national within the year. 

They already have an audience base; they have the venue and  a meeting/presentation hall.  They have an ambitious seminar schedule with various professional groups.  They are familiar with the business-side of things.  They will handle all the tedious stuff Katherine doesn’t want to deal with… and they want her to join them!  They have the financial backing for all of this.  They just want HER!

She’s excited because they are offering her everything she wants to do and nothing she doesn’t want to do.  FABULOUS!!!

Oh… and did I mention that they asked her if she had some written material that they could push through these workshops… and that they were overjoyed to learn about our book that happens to fit right into their theme — the human connection and connecting with each other?

And did I mention that Katherine mentioned her co-author, and their reply was something like:  Bring her in.  The more the merrier!

Now, all we need to do is get the %#$@* book finished, printed, produced, and on hand for these workshops that will probably start in a couple of months.

So, yeah… I’m really excited — in both a good and bad way.  I have to get the book as perfect as we can and get it self-published and printed in a short period of time.

I’ve never self-published before, so all of this is new, and I don’t have the luxury of screwing things up and starting over.  I need to figure out the interior design, get help with the book cover design, deal with the uploading specifications, setting up the account, ordering and reviewing proofs… and the list goes on…

It feels like I’ve just jumped feet first into an ice-cold pool of water. 

Yes, Father Time has pulled a fast one on me.  All that whining about waiting… waiting…  waiting… has come back to bite me in the butt…

Waiting for someone else is no longer the issue…

The problem now is… I can’t focus on the job at hand and everything I need to get done, because I’m too excited about what the future holds for us…

And what a FABULOUS problem to have!!!

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Listen to That Little Voice Inside…

I cross paths with an acquaintance at work.  We’re not particularly close, but we’re friendly when we pass each other in the halls.  We exchange hellos and goodbyes, but that’s the extent of our conversations.  A nod and a wave… and that’s about it.

Yesterday, we followed our same ritual, but a little voice inside me told me to look deeper into Pam’s face — so I did. 

I didn’t notice anything different.  She smiled and nodded her hello and goodbye as usual. 

Today, Pam walked pass my opened door.  That little voice inside me told me to follow her back to her office and check on her — so I did.

I knocked on her closed door.  She called for me to come in, smiled when she saw me, and waited for me to tell her why was I there…

I wasn’t sure exactly what to say.  Why was I there? 

All I could say was that I wanted to come by and check on her… I just wanted to make sure she was alright.

She stopped for a second, deciding how to answer.  Then she began to tell me of her current struggles — at work, at home, with her ex, and with her kids — and how she felt so all alone… bottling everything in… pretending how everything was fine…

I couldn’t change her circumstance.  I couldn’t change her ex-husband or her kids.  I couldn’t relieve her from her struggles. 

All I could do was listen… but that was enough. 

Talking it all out helped her put things in perspective.  Having a sounding board helped her organize her thoughts.  Simply giving her my attention and listening helped. 

Listening helped.  

It helps…

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Yes, Even in a Car Repair Shop

I believe that I’ve told you (many times before) that I am not a patient person — but I’ll tell you once more, because…

I recently had to take my car in for repairs.  After 5½ hours of waiting, I was finally told the amount of ransom needed to secure both my and my car’s release.

It was a long, long day for me.

It’s not like I didn’t plan it all out, either.  I knew I had to wait for the repairs, so I tried to reduce my waiting time as much as possible.  I called the day before and explained my situation.  I made an appointment with the manager, to make sure that my car would be taken care of in a timely manner, that parts would be ordered, etc.

I was told that the repair would take 2 hours, and that’s what I expected.  I did not expect the 5½ hours that it turned out to be.

Knowing my impatient nature, I did bring a book with me, to keep me distracted — but instead of keeping me distracted from what was going on around me, it heightened my sensitivity to it.

The book I brought was The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver).  In the book, the authors focused on the importance of respect and honor in healthy relationships — e.g., in a friendship, a marriage, or work-related encounters, etc.

This day at the repair shop just reinforced that message for me.

You see, the manager, Brandon, and I had formed a comfortable connection over the two days we’ve been discussing my car problem.  We had a pleasant and respectful rapport going.  He answered my questions and… well, treated me as an equal.  He treated me with respect and honor.

Even though I am an impatient person, I was willing to sit there for however long it took for my car to be fixed, because I trusted that the manager had my best interest in mind — and, unfortunately, I had no other choice.

Two hours into my sentence, a different person — I’ll refer to him as Mr. Jerk — bellowed out into the waiting room, searching for the person who belonged to the Ford Focus.  I raised my hand and went to meet him at the counter.  Before I reached the counter, he started with his condescending tone, mumbling a list of recommendations that “must be” done.  He started pushing me to use their credit card, ignoring my responses and reasons for wanting to handle the payment differently. Another employee tried to step in and have Mr. Jerk stop badgering me, but Mr. Jerk ignored that voice of reason.

I could feel my frustration and irritation rising with every breath Mr. Jerk took.  Every phrase he uttered dripped with mockery, disguised as teasing.  Simply put:  I had no desire to deal with this person; but, at the same time, I knew I couldn’t make Mr. Jerk change his behavior toward me.

It’s sad to admit, but we — women, in particular — have been conditioned to be smile sweetly and take this type of behavior.  Don’t try to understand what’s going on under the hood of the car.  Just pay the mechanics whatever they tell you.  Don’t rock the boat.  Don’t make a scene in public.  Just sit there and take it.

Unfortunately for Mr. Jerk, I’m of a different opinion.  I believe everyone — me, included — should be treated with respect — even in a car repair shop.

So, knowing that 1) I couldn’t change Mr. Jerk’s behavior and 2) I didn’t want to have to deal with him anymore, I simply told Mr. Jerk to stop talking to me and that I wanted Brandon to talk to me, instead.

Obviously, Mr. Jerk didn’t understand the seriousness of my request.  He just stood there and continued to be himself… a jerk.

I repeated my request — in the middle of a lobby and in front of his manager, Brandon.

Mr. Jerk turned to Brandon and repeated my request to him, adding that “She doesn’t like me!”

I did not contradict that statement.  I did not backtrack or try to soften the impact of those words.  I just let that statement continue to float out there… until Brandon took Mr. Jerk’s place at the register.

Brandon explained my car's issues, and we agreed to just concentrate on the “safety issues” and not on any of the other stuff on the list.  He let me use my own method of payment without giving me any hassles about it.  Unfortunately, he told me I’ll be waiting for another couple of hours; but that was OK, since I was being treated with respect.

As I went back to my seat, I noticed that Brandon tried to give Mr. Jerk some etiquette lessons, so that the customers that came after me would be treated better.

What was even better was that during the remaining 3½ hours, Mr. Jerk changed his tone and behavior.  He showed more respect to the other women who were waiting for their cars. 

Yeah, I know he’s probably calling me all sorts of names under his breath, but — at least outwardly — he was treating his customers with more respect than before.

And yes, showing respect and honor is important… even in a car repair shop.

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Thank Goodness for My Day Job

My day job is constantly feeding me the motivation necessary to keep my dream alive.

It’s truly a fertile and futile training ground for me. 

It allows me to practice the fine art of waiting — a skill that I’m finding crucial in keeping my sanity while keeping my dream alive. 

• I wait for others to get back to me. 
• I wait for phone calls and emails to be returned. 
• I wait for corrections to be made and processed. 
• I wait for co-workers to get back from vacations and lunch breaks. 
• I wait for answers to my questions. 
• I wait for approvals and authorizations. 
• I wait on clients.
• I wait for the day I can quit. 
• I wait… and wait… and wait.

While I’m doing all this waiting, I’m also learning lots from my co-workers, supervisors, and managers.  

• They’re teaching me to reduce my expectations so to reduce my disappointments.  
•  They’re illustrating the destructive forces ego and insecurities have on team spirit and productivity.
•  They constantly remind me how the "blame game" erodes a person’s integrity and credibility.

All these skills come in handy when trying to become a published author, so I’m grateful to my day job.
 
Yes, thank goodness for my day job.  If it wasn’t for it, I wouldn’t be pursuing my dream so diligently.



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I’m Not Used to This

I told you that I was reaching out to various organizations and associations to see if they would help us with getting our children’s book picked up by publishers.

Well, the Florida Department of Education pointed me toward the 67 individual school board districts throughout Florida.  I contacted my district and a neighboring one as well.  My plan was to contact each of the 67 districts, one by one, and see who would respond to our request, if any.

Within a couple of hours, I received emails back from the school boards willing to discuss our projects.  Some back-and-forth emails later, those involved with elementary education and bullying prevention programs for the school districts, along with the district’s school’s social work supervisor have offered to review our manuscripts and give us their feedback.

Hopefully, our project strikes the right core with them.  If not, I’ve got 65 more districts to contact.

I’ve also reached out to Abundant Assets Alliance—which combines YMCA of the USA and Canada and Search Institute (three distinguishing organizations with proven success in building strong kids).  One person with Search Institute emailed me back to let me know that she was forwarding my email to her colleague.

I know all these people could come back and tell me that they can’t help us, but I’m just excited that each one of them took the time to reach out and make contact.

After months and months of reaching out to publishers and literary agents — only to receive cold silence from them — it’s a pleasant and welcoming change to have people actually respond back.

I guess I’m just not used to this.


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Shifting Gears

Since it seems that we’re changing direction with the relationship book, Katherine and I have to really sit down and think things through and make some decisions. 

This means I can’t go any further on this project until Katherine and I can meet.

So, to keep myself busy, I’ve turned my attention back to the children’s book. 

I’m pretty sure that we’ll run into the same hurdles with the publishers of children’s books as we have with the adult-nonfiction publishers — which is that we don’t have a following, a built-in audience, or formal and time-tested sales platform that would guarantee book sales for the publisher.

We could self-publish the children’s book, but we’ll need help with the funding of it.  Because of the discussion aid that goes along with the story, we’re talking about a two-book package, with illustrations for each chapter.  All of that takes more money than we have.

With that in mind, I’m brainstorming as to how I can generate some support for the book.  I’ve started sending out requests for help to various groups… hoping that someone would step in for us. 

I’ve sent letters to homeschool publishers, organizations, and associations. 

I’ve reached out to the National Homeschool Association, various parent/teacher associations, the Florida Department of Education, and the Florida School Board Association.

I’ve targeted Target® as well.  Their community outreach programs focus on reading and educational programs for children.  That gave me the idea to write to the president of Target® to see if he had some leads or contacts that would help us get published. 

I’ve even written to Mrs. Laura Bush to see if she would help us out.

We’ll see if any of this bears fruit.  In the meantime, I’ll keep brainstorming…

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Time to Get Off the Merry-Go-Round

We received a very interesting “encouraging letter of hope” from a very kind and helpful literary agent.

She eloquently expressed her concern about our lack of a “well-developed platform” to support the marketing and promotional aspects of our project. 

She told us that:

“Publishers increasingly expect authors to have well-developed platforms prior to seeking publication so that they have a built-in audience when the book comes out.  If a publisher doesn’t believe that the author can personally sell many thousands of copies on their own (the big NY publishers expect to sell in the 20,000 to 50,000 copies at a minimum based on the author’s sole efforts), they are averse to taking a project on.”

Without an established audience, publishers — and, thus, literary agents — will not take on new authors.

If this was a rejection letter, it would have stopped there; but our encouraging letter of hope continued.

Although this literary agent could not take us on as a client, she advised us to look into other publishing models that have developed over the years. 

She has gone so far as to name a couple of non-traditional publishers and has offered to personally introduce us to her contacts in these companies. 

We really appreciate her offer because a personal reference really helps in this business.

So, we’re getting off of the merry-go-round we’ve been on for the last year and moving on to a different ride. 

Hopefully, this new ride will take us somewhere exciting, and not just round and round in a circle.

Responsiveness in Healthy Relationships

Katherine came across this video that shows the role of responsiveness in healthily relationships. While this footage is of a mother and her baby, it's relevant to all relationships.  

Basically, the video reminds us, that no matter how old we are, we become hurt when those closest to us are non-responsive to our attempts in engaging them in a relationship.

What I find interesting is how quickly the baby responds back after being ignored by the mother.  There's no "holding a grudge" or "getting even" for the hurt inflicted.  The baby's just happy to have her mom interacting with her again.   

I think this is something we can learn from babies. 

Check out the link:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0&feature=player_embedded