Wake-up Call

I was in the break room, in the early morning hours, when one of the supervisors came in.  I can’t say that she’s the most pleasant person on the floor, but she did manage to mumble, “Good Morning.” 

I mumbled back something very positive — something like:  “I’d rather be anywhere but here.”

Now, that comment — this early in the morning — usually brings agreement and a light chuckle from the other person.  Let’s face it.  Most of us would rather be ANYWHERE else but at work, so early in the morning…

Today, I learned that “most of us” is not “all of us.”

Nope.  This supervisor’s response was:  “Well, I’d thought all your outside activities created enough distractions for you.”

What she said (and the way she said it) was a bit odd — as if she believed that the main purpose of life is to live and breathe for the company… and “the other stuff” people do “away from the office” are simply fluffy distractions…

At first, I was slightly irritated.  I don’t feel any part of my life to be a distraction.  Every part has purpose… even the mundane part that is spent at the office.  I go to work and provide a service, for which I get paid, so I can live my life comfortably and completely.  Simply put:  I work to live and not live to work.

That’s when I had to remind myself of the difference between this supervisor and me.  Definitely, her existence revolves around her job.  She is defined — and sealed in — by her position.  She spends her days in her office, not interacting with others.  She feels that the more work she generates, the more valuable she is to her boss.  With this in mind, she designs more work for herself — and everyone working for her — than is needed to get the original task completed.  Because of that, she finds it necessary to take work home every night and weekend.  Even working these extra hours, she finds herself behind in her work — missing deadlines and making mistakes.  Her reward for all of this is to be disrespected and discounted by her boss. 

It’s sad to watch, because it’s obvious that she puts her heart and soul into her job, and none of it is appreciated… if noticed at all.  This causes her to walk around in a constant state of… numbness.

Yeah, I can see how — to her — my outside activities can be seen as distractions — and even interference — to her disciplined definition of existence. 

And, I guess she’s right.  If I lived to work, I’d probably be more like her…and be satisfied with simply existing.

But I don’t see that happening any time soon.  I’m having too much fun exploring the art of living…

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Never Saw That Coming

Gosh!  I can never guess what message will be received when I post these pieces.  All that is certain is that the comments rarely go in the direction that I expect.

I posted the last journal entry to another social network website and got an interesting response from a gentleman.

His suggested solutions to elderly abuse was taxation on corporate temples and other religious organizations, recruiting and creating a TV ad campaign with AARP to run a "psych pathology" series for the elderly… and his “ending” comment was to wait or “encourage” the elderly to die off…


Wow!  Honestly, I never saw that one coming!


I wasn't aware that I was talking about elderly abuse in the last piece, BUT... if we want to talk about abuse — whether it be elderly, child, wife, husband, workplace, etc.— I don’t see how more laws, taxation, dogma declarations, promotions, advertising, etc. will stop this.   These things will only add to the judgment, self-righteousness, self-interest, and abuse that already exist.

My belief is that abuse will only stop when individuals stop asserting their needs or wants over others.

Abusive patterns will only end when we truly respect and honor each other as human beings.

There seems to be this drive and hunger in us to assert ourselves over everything around us, including people. There is this ingrained survival-of-the-fittest mentality in the human psyche that is carried over from our cave-dwelling days. Our culture still thrives on this facet of our humanness.

Ironically, in preserving the human race in this manner, we lose what makes us human. The very trait that has preserved our species has destroyed our humanity. In whatever form it takes, this survival-of-the-fittest theme prevents — if not totally destroys — the emotional survival of humanity.

It hinders the possibility of experiencing and cultivating quality relationships with friends and couples and within families and social groups. It stands in the way of the most fundamental and vital element of a relationship. It stands in the way of trust.

Simple put: How can we trust each other, if, as a society, we reward “the fittest” who steps over — or on — those who are seen as weak and vulnerable?

No, delegating the responsibility of curtailing abuse to a society that takes advantage of the vulnerable just doesn’t seem to be the answer.  It’s as if I’m giving the self-righteous thief (in my dream) a key to our homes.

So, who’s left? 

I’m back to my original thought:  Abuse will only end when we truly respect and honor each other as human beings — no matter their age, their looks, their gender, their size, their nationality, their religion, etc.


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The Lady in Red

Something very interesting played out at work this week.

I was walking into the kitchen and noticed a co-worker wearing a bright red blouse, black pants, and red shoes.

I commented on her outfit, “I like your red top and shoes. This must be “red” week or something. I noticed that Julie came all in red on Monday, and then she wore red pants the next day. And today, you’re wearing a red top with red shoes.” 

 Alice smiled and shrugged.  “Well, I guess it’s just a power day.”

I said, “Well, I think because red is such a powerful color, that subconsciously you were predisposed to red, because Julie came in on Monday — as the Lady in Red — and then, she came in the next day with red pants.  That red color stuck with you, and today, while looking in your closet, you subconsciously gravitated toward the red.”

Alice politely shrugged me off and went on her way.

I knew she didn’t believe me.  I knew she thought I was a little nuts with such a theory, so I followed her into the opened area of the Word Processing room.  I waited for her to sit down at her desk, before I approached her. 

I didn’t say a word.  I just walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.  Then I pointed to all the people, in that immediate area, who were wearing some shade of red.

All these people happen to be sitting in the same area as Julie, who was our Lady in Red on Monday.  Julie, of course, had not a stitch of red on her today.

Alice’s eyes registered recognition of what she was seeing.  She started to laugh out loud.

She exclaimed, “Oh my goodness!  I never even noticed!  Look at that!” 

As she explained what was going on to the rest of the group, I walked out, silently.

***

It’s very interesting to me that people have a hard time believing that their actions affect others. 

Everything on this planet is connected in some way.  Every action — every “thing” — has significance to someone—whether we “see” it or not… whether we acknowledge it or not.  Even if we don’t see the connection or significance, it doesn’t mean that the connection doesn't exit. 

I wish more people saw this power within themselves.  I wish more people would recognize how the power of their presence affects others — either in a positive or negative way. 

Since we have the power within us to choose whether to affect others in a positive or negative way, why not make a conscious effort to affect others in a positive way? 

By choosing a positive course of action, we can dispel the darkness in others, while recharging ourselves in the process.

If we truly understood this power within us, we would use it more.  We would take the time to develop it.  We would give it the attention it needs to affect, effect, and infuse others. 

If we only knew the power held in the gifts of focused attention and positive connections, we could use that power to abolish a host of negative and draining emotions and insecurities that live within ourselves and others. 

Even if this is just one of my crazy theories, it’s one worth trying out…

Don’t you think?

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I Wish I Took the Risk

I was walking back from the bank to my office.  It was a hot, sunny day; and I was crossing an open field next to a hotel that allowed dog owners to bring their dogs.

While I was crossing the field, I heard a woman’s voice yelling for Bella. 

I turned around and saw a cute little black dog running around — and away from her owner — just happy to be free.  Trailing behind her was her leash along with her tired and irritated owner. 

I stood there, quietly, waiting for the dog to notice me.  I patted my leg for her to come visit me.  She ran as fast as she could, and we greeted each other.  As I petted her, I picked up her leash, untangled her legs from it, and waited for Bella’s owner to retrieve her.

The woman came over slowly — still irritated.  I smiled and handed over the leash.  The woman didn’t return the smile, nor did she get close enough or extend her arm out far enough to grab the leash.

I had to lean up and over Bella to reach the owner's hand, who wasn't helping matter.  I was definitely feeling her need for more space between us.  

At some point, she appeared to have the leash, but just to make sure I asked.

“Are you OK? You have it?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure you’re OK?”

“Yeah.”

And with that, she turned around to take Bella back to the hotel.

There was no “Thank you” or any other niceties from her to allow me into her world. 

I think back to that encounter and wonder... if I had tried harder to break down her barrier, what would I have found there?  I have no idea what her struggles are, but could sharing her frustrations for a moment ease her day?  Would simply knowing that someone noticed — and wanted to help — have made her feel better?

There’s a fine line between reaching out to people and intruding into their private space — and with strangers, you have no idea where that line falls.   Some people are just not comfortable letting others in… let alone, letting strangers in.

I think back and remember how her behavior told me that she wasn’t comfortable with the help I had already given.  Reaching even deeper into her space would have pushed her farther away.

But part of me still wishes that I had taken the risk.  What if I was wrong, and I could have made her feel better — even if for that one moment?

Yeah.  Next time, I'll take the risk.

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Let’s Focus, People!

I woke up, again, with the strongest desire to work on these writing projects, so I’m back at my computer, wanting to write about something… about anything!

This energy — this desire, this obsession, this need — controls my every waking moment.  It’s all I can think about.  It’s all I can focus on…

Don’t get me wrong…other things do get done.  I go through my days as usual.  I function at work; I get my errands done; I manage the house; I meet with family and friends; I continue to give of myself to the teens online; I go to choir practice, etc.

Everything else gets done; everyone else’s needs are met.

I meet all my other obligations; but, all the while, my mind is clicking off thoughts of what I need to do to push me over the next hurdle in my writing career.

I go through my days looking for new ideas for the blog, new subjects for better books, new methods of getting the message out, new contacts, and new ways of getting noticed by publishers…

I have a writing pad by my bed, just in case I think of something in my sleep.  I have a writing pad in my car, just in case I think of something during the drive to work or on my way to various errands.  I don't have a writing pad in the bathroom... well, not yet...

Yeah.  I’m becoming obsessed with this… but I believe that I’m managing my writing addiction quite well.  I don’t think anyone is getting slighted due to it.  It’s just that I’ve noticed how I’m constantly in search for something to do that’s relates to these writing projects…

The MOST interesting thing about this is that Katherine is dealing with the same type of energy, the same type of desire, and the same type of need to work on her personal projects.

Unfortunately, her personal projects are not these writing projects of mine.

We’re back to her self-interest is getting in the way of my self-interest; and my need to put our friendship ahead of my desire to get published.

While all I can focus on is the writing projects; all she can focus on is her personal and family issues.

I understand that.  She needs to focus on those things; and I need to give her the space and time to do it.  She needs to concentrate on redefining her inner core; and I need to give her my support, my understanding, and my friendship to accomplish that.  She doesn’t need additional things to juggle along the way.  She has enough on her plate as it is.

So, when we do manage to get some time together, we don’t talk much about these writing projects.  We talk about what’s going on in her life.

Instead of writing about friendship, we’re living it…

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

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