I found myself in an awkward situation the other day. I met a young man over the Internet, and we were conversing through email for 2 days.
On the first day, he asked if I wanted a picture of his penis.
Ummm... No, thank you.
Ummm... No, thank you.
So, on the second day, he attached four pictures of his penis and asked what I thought.
Among other things, I thought that he placed himself in a very vulnerable position… in more ways than one…
Ignoring the fact that he wasn’t respecting my wishes and wasn’t taking my feelings into consideration, he just sent a stranger compromising pictures of himself that could easily be used against him. He has no idea what I would do with them. Such private photos can have negative future effects for him in the hands of an unscrupulous or vindictive person.
I also thought this young man was being rude, immature, insensitive, and thoughtless. He opened both of us up to an embarrassing and hurtful situation. No matter how I respond to this, feelings will be hurt.
Since I had no idea how to respond to these unsolicited photos, I simply ignored them. I hoped that this snapshot in time would soon evaporate into a distant memory and quietly dissolve into some invisible Internet cloud to float far, far away from me.
But that Internet cloud came back as a thunderstorm.
This “gentleman” told me how hurt he was. He trusted me enough to send very private pictures of himself, and I ignored such a gift.
I told him that I understood his feelings, and I apologized for not responding in the manner that he wanted. Hurting his feelings was not my intent. I felt like I was put in a lose/lose situation. I just knew that whatever I would’ve said would’ve been wrong. I just didn't know what he wanted from me.
His response to that was that I have low self-esteem and that I need therapy — professional help. I'm obviously compensating for something missing in my life and am hiding that fact from myself — so that I don't have to deal with it. He went on to tell me that he’s been with a couple of women and they never complained…
And that’s pretty much the direction the rest of his response took…
I realize this person is only 26 and has a lot to learn, but I am concerned for him, because I fear that he will be hurt more and more if he follows his current path. There are consequences to one’s actions. No matter how much you want to fault others — sooner or later — the consequences of your actions will catch up to you.
Trust is built over a longer period of time than 2 days. Using the word “trust” in describing a person you’ve only known from 3 or 4 emails will bring betrayal and hurt with it — and indiscriminately sending compromising pictures to strangers will damage your reputation and credibility.
This person may act differently with those he meets face to face, but I would think that the same consideration, precautions, and respect should be given to anyone you meet — no matter where you meet them.
Am I wrong?
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