Lessons in Distrust

My place of employment has dropped another notch or two on the integrity meter — if that’s possible.

Someone came into my office and stole all my cash out of my wallet.

This is the second time it’s happened. 

The last time they stole my credit card along with all my cash.  They went on a shopping spree with the card, until the credit card company cut them off.

After the first time, nothing much was done, except they gave me a drawer that would lock.

Because I had to get in and out of that drawer all day for pencils, pens, stapler, tape, scissors, etc., I only locked the drawer when I left my office for an extended length of time—e.g., a meeting, a break, etc.  I didn’t stop and lock the drawer every time I left my chair — when someone called me to help them, or when I went to the bathroom, or when my supervisor called me to her office, etc. 

But I’ve learned my lesson.  I guess the saying holds true:  First time, shame on them; second time, shame on me. 

Now, I’ve taken out all the supplies I use during the day, cluttering up my already cluttered desktop, so I can keep that drawer locked at all times.  I’m keeping the door of the office closed, when I’m in my chair and when I’m not in my chair, so people won’t have a clue as to where I am or am not.

It’s sad to say that I’m forced to alter my trusting nature to accommodate my negative and disrespectful work environment — but that’s how it is.  

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You’ve Heard it All Before…

Here’s a quick update on our publishing pursuits:  I’m back to waiting… waiting… waiting.

 

Yes, there was a lot of activity over the push to get the book published in time for Katherine’s debut with her other partner’s plan for regular workshops and presentations. 

We even met with another friend of Katherine’s — a graphic designer and illustrator.  We intended to hire him to create our book cover for us, but after our meeting, he not only wanted to do the book cover, but he wanted to do the interior design as well. 

Part of me was excited, while the other part was… disappointed.  I’ve been working sooooo hard on the interior look of the book.  I had put so much of myself into the page layouts and such… and now none of that will matter.  All my hard work will be discarded…all for naught. 

It's not that I don't trust him with the project.  I absolutely DO trust him to make the book the best that it can be.

It's just that... now my writing project is in the hands of others.  The graphic designer is going to take over the look of the book, and I'm still waiting for Katherine to finish reading through the final draft…

So, there’s nothing more that I can do but wait… wait… wait...

I REALLY HATE WAITING!!!

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That Didn’t Last Very Long…

Just got word from the “intrigued” publisher…

Although our work is interesting and intriguing, their listing is all booked for the next year and can’t place our book on it for now… She wishes us the best of luck…

That’s the catch in all of this…

The larger publishers won’t look at our work because we haven’t been published… and the smaller publishers who will look at us — and are moved by our stuff — don’t have the staff, resources, and publishing power to take on more than they already have.

Seems like an endless cycle for us.  I feel a bit like Don Quixote, fighting my own personal giants.

Like the song, Windmills of Your Mind, from the Thomas Crown Affair:

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Anyway, I’m trying to think of another strategy, while still sending out (pointless) queries and book proposals.

If only I can connect with some established authors in the field that we want to break into, maybe they could help us.  It’s worth a try. 

What’s the worst thing that can happen?  They ignore our request… and heaven knows, I’m used to that by now.

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Expecting Nothing

I scanned another database of more than 250 publishers interested in some form of relational self-help books.

I checked out another library book that lists children’s publishers…

Many publishers are not accepting unsolicited manuscripts or queries.  They want to only deal with well-known literary agents…

But there are a few who will look at our stuff, so I sent out another load of queries for both the relationship book and the children’s book.  I’m just reaching out to as many publishers and agents as I can, all at once — just to get it over with…

I don’t expect anything to come from any of this… 

I’m just going through the motions…

I’m keeping my expectations low, so I won’t be disappointed when I don’t hear from anyone for a long time… if ever.

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Never Satisfied

I went bowling for the first time in more than two decades. I warned my friend that I was terrible, but she didn’t mind.  She bowls once a week in her boyfriend’s league, and she thought our outing would give her a fun way to practice.

I was true to my word.  I WAS terrible!  I bowled a “34” in the first game.  It’s amazing, I’m given 20 chances to hit the pins, and I only mange to knock down 34 pins in all that time.  As you can imagine, most of my rolls ended in the gutter.

It was fun, though; because we celebrated every time I actually managed to keep the ball on the lane and hit something. 

We paid for two games; so, with my chin held high, I tried again and again.  I was determined to beat “34” in this next game.  I was so bad the first time that I didn’t think I could get any worse.

It wasn’t until mid-game that I tried something unconventional… and managed to strike all the pins down in one throw. 

I tried it again and managed another strike… and then another… followed by spares and more strikes…

Both my friend and I were in disbelief, along with the people in the lane next to us.  They couldn’t believe it either!!!

I ended that game with “127.”  Unbelievable!!!

We both bowled our “personal best” in that second game, so thought we’d pick up a third game.

That was a mistake.  My fingers were getting tired, I was getting hungry, and my attention span was waning for this game — and all of this showed in the third game.  I was much better than the first game — hard not to be—but not as good as in the second.

But in the third game, if I got anything less than a strike or a spare, I was disappointed. 

The celebratory feel of the first game and the disbelief of the second game were missing in this last game.  In the first game, I was happy to hit ANYTHING.  In the second game, I was amazed at hitting so many. 

In the third game, I focused on what I missed and not what I had hit.  Instead of being happy with how much I improved from the first game, I ended the night disappointed.

Too many times, we do the same in life.  We focus on what we don’t have and not on all the things we do have.  

We'd enjoy our lives so much more if we would stop doing that.

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Giving It Another Try…and Another… and Another

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Well, since we’re revamping the relationship book again, Katherine wants to try reaching out to literary agents (again) to see if they can knock on the mega-publishers’ doors for us.

Early responses back from those inquiries are not helpful.  Many won't take new authors, only established authors recommended by other established authors.  Others only accept "full-length" books.

I asked the agent exactly what her definition of "full-length" books was...  since, in my mind, a book is as long as it needs to be to get your story told — no longer or shorter than that.   If it's shorter than that, then  it's not complete; if it's longer than that, then you're wasting your readers' valuable time with redundancy and unwanted rhetoric.

So, I’m back on the computer doing what I hate, Hate, HATE doing!!

And what’s my reward for doing it?  I’m positioned and posed for more and more “encouraging letters of hope” to fill my inbox.

Yeah, I hate, Hate, HATE this part!

But, I keep telling myself that at least this exercise — no matter what the outcome — will, ultimately, lead us in the right direction. 

[P.S. The literary agent did explain that there is a higher price break for books of 55,000 words or more, and she is only interested in pursuing higher page-count books.]

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I hate Hate HATE This Part!

As I told you earlier, I researched, organized, printed, and put together bunches of book proposal packages to be mailed out… wanting them to arrive as close to those I emailed, so everyone has the same amount of time to look over our stuff.

During this process, I reached out to one of the publishers who had showed interest in the first version of the friendship book — the one in the UK, who had decided not to pursue our project because they had another friendship book scheduled for this year. 

I explained that we had revamped the book to encompass various types of relationships and added self-discovery sections to the book.  We were resending the book out to other publishers and just wanted to give them an opportunity to look at the new version, in case they were interested and  their schedule was open…

They emailed back, immediately, saying that their other relationship book ran into a problem, so they were interested in looking at ours again. 

But the editor didn’t like the title of the second version.  She thought it was too negative.  Both Katherine and I felt it was very positive, and I explained why; but we respected her feedback.  A good title is essential to the book and, together, we could come up with a great title….

The editor admitted that she didn’t like the title of the first book either.  She felt it was too negative.

O…..K….

At this point, I just left it alone, because I got the feeling that no matter what I came up with, she was going to see the title as being “negative.”  I just left it that I’m sure we can come up with a great title when the time comes…

My biggest concern was:  What was I going to do with all these mailers that are ready to go out?!!!

Do I throw out all my work and stop the path that we’re on, because this editor didn’t like the revised title or the first title—and who is having “a problem” with another author? 

Will this new title actually stop others from reading our proposal and sample chapters?

If we hold up the mailers until we can agree on a new title, how long will that take?  And I’ve already sent out a bunch of emailers with the other title….

And all my work in setting the mailers up, in printing will have to be redone.  I’m stuck doing the thing that I absolutely hate, Hate, HATE!   I’m beginning to feel like that hamster running in its exercise wheel — running and running, but getting nowhere.

GGGGRRRRR!!!  I was just so… so… frustrated, that I wanted to scream… but instead, I texted Katherine.

She likes “most” of the title we have.  She only wanted to change ONE word in it… 

But whether we change one word, five words, or the whole #$@#$ title, I would still have to redo everything and reprint everything.  All that time and effort… wasted. 

Katherine stopped my downward spiraling by suggesting that we just add a note to each of the mailers, explaining that we were thinking about changing the title of the book, but thought of it after everything was printed.  This additional note would prevent us from having to redo everything, and if the publishers didn’t like the title, they would know we’re changing it…. and if they liked the title as is, then no harm done.

Cool!!!  So, that’s what we’re doing… along with keeping our fingers crossed.

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Publish America

I ran into a Christian publisher on the Internet and thought it wouldn’t hurt to pitch our material to them.

As I was doing so, I had this really creepy, uneasy feeling running through me… but I didn’t listen to it.

The website for Publish America looked official with lots of happy testimonials from their authors… and they made it super easy to submit your pitch.  They stated that they “adhere to the traditional publishing concept”. 

The website said that they would get back to you in 24 hours; and for an impatient person like me, 24 hours sounded like a reasonable time to wait for an answer.

But, as I was doing all of this, I had this really creepy, uneasy feeling running through me… but I didn’t listen to it.

I prepared the submission and hit the submit button.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I started listening to the really creepy, uneasy feeling running through me.

So, I googled Publish America and the word SCAM came up in the headline search.

Oops!

In reading the material on the Internet, I can’t say that Publish America is scamming their authors, but neither are they helping their authors.  The term scam deals with deceit, fraud, swindling, trickery, etc.

I can’t say this publisher is scamming their authors… although they are not providing the services that are expected from a truly “traditional” publisher — which is what is causing the complaints.

They seem to be a hybrid mix between self-publishing and traditional publishing.  The authors don’t have to pay to get their books published, but nor does the publisher help promote, distribute, or market the books either.  Past clients have complained that this publisher jacks up the cover price past a reasonable selling point and doesn’t pay royalties as promised.  The publisher will accept any manuscript submitted, will do minimum editing, if any, and will push out a product that some bookstores refuse to place on their shelves.

As I’m reading all of this — instead of hitting myself on the head for not listening to the really creepy, uneasy feeling running through me — I tell myself that when they come back and say they’d love to publish our book, I’ll end it there.

To be fair, this publisher has a right to make a profit and be in business.  They may be a good fit for some authors, but I’d rather pass at this time.

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Time To Change My Password

You know my propensity for picking passwords to positively propel our publishing pursuits…

Well, for the last couple of months, I had the name of the most promising publisher as my password — the publisher who actually read the sample chapters, asked for the rest of the book, and then asked us to complete a new author media questionnaire…

With fingers crossed, eyes closed, and hopes uplifted, I’ve been holding my breath for their decision.

It came yesterday.  The UK publisher had another friendship book coming out later this year, and didn’t want to have our book compete with their current client who was already signed with them. 

Even though I was hoping… really hoping… but … it’s OK…. 

If I was the publisher and had a friendship book already in the mix… in the UK…. why would I go out on a limb for two new/unknown authors from the US?  They made the easier decision.  It may not have been the best one for them or us, but it was the easier of the two… and I understand it…

In the back of my mind, I really think that the children’s book is what’s going to get us “discovered” – and once we are, then these other books will be in more demand….

So, it’s time to change the password again… to something more general…something that I’m really wishing for… something desperate… maybe pleading…maybe determined… or demanding…

Something that portrays my true desire… something like… MAKE IT HAPPEN, NOW!


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