Last month, in the blog post, “True Listening is Love in
Action,” I introduced the book, The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. M. Scott
Peck.
In
his book, Dr. Peck, discusses the attributes that — in his opinion — make for a
fulfilled human being, based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and
person. He also encourages us to
confront our problems which would enable us to reach a higher level of
self-understanding.
He
subdivides his “wisdom” into three parts:
discipline, love, and grace. In
the earlier post, I discussed the first three parts.
Something
happened today that makes me want to talk about the last section… the section
on grace.
And
I guess it’s fitting that this revelation of mine happened in church…
I’ve
sung in various choirs all my life.
Compared to its other choir members, I’m relatively new to this "current" choir — only
singing with them for a couple of years, and I am one of the “younger” members
in the group…
Today,
our choir director put a quartette together — of which I was a member. After Mass, the director received compliments
on how well the quartette sung — comparing us to a professional group from New
York, which was very gratifying and appreciated. The choir director would like to do this more
often.
Even
with these glowing compliments, the choir director wanted to talk to me after everyone
left.
She wanted to talk to me about my “stickiness.”
Me: “Sticky? I don’t understand. What do you mean by stickiness?”
She: “Well, when Jake started singing your part,
I can feel you stiffening up. You became
“sticky.” Because of that, the psalm
didn’t come off as well as it did in practice.
It was still good, just not as good as I know it could have been.”
Me: “Yeah, I wasn’t
expecting Jake to start the psalm. Cindy
mentioned that I should cantor the start, so when Jake started, I was confused…
wondering if Cindy said I should or if he should and I got distracted and…it
became an ‘oops moment’ — not sure what I was to do.”
She: “Overall it was
good. No one noticed, and we got
compliments. It’s just next time — and
he’ll do it the next time…that’s just him — instead of stiffening up, bring
Jake into you and let it all flow together.
It’ll be more connected and flow as one, instead of disconnected. Your energy influences the group. If you stiffen up, then it flows through the
group and they’ll stiffen up as well, and everything becomes disconnected. It all flows from you.”
Me: “I understand how
my energy influences the group, and I’m doing the best I can. It’s hard when I’m surrounded by those who
want to take control and others who want to stand out and be the center of
attention.
“It’s hard
to bring all the different personalities together — to get that unity and flow
within the group… Part of me just wants to disconnect from them, while at the
same time connect for the flow — trying not to be distracted by them, but, at the same time, share with them. It’s hard to
balance the two…
“Because
it’s difficult, I end up concentrating on what I can do, which is reach out to
the congregation and embrace them with my energy and bring them in. I know I’m effective at that, because I see
it in their faces when I sing to them.”
She: “It is
difficult to balance the disconnection with the connection. Try thinking of bringing balance to the group
by bringing them into you as you do the congregation. When you sing, imagine your energy flowing
over and surrounding everyone and everything.
Think of extending that energy beyond the congregation — pushing it further
out and around… encompassing the singers around you, the instrumentalists behind
you, and even those beyond the walls of the church. Shoot for more…”
Shoot for more...
Our
conversation brought me back to what Dr. Peck said in his book—regarding grace
and spiritual growth — along with the saying, “To whom much is given, much is expected.”
There is an expectation and responsibility to push
ourselves to greater and greater wisdom… to greater and greater
effectiveness.
“To whom much is given, much is
expected.”
The
choir director didn’t go to Jake and ask him to become more of a team player
and sing as part of the group.
No. She was asking me to do something that was far more difficult. She was asking me to use my energy to influence
the flow of the group — not to change
the individuals in the group but to balance the differences within the
personalities to create a more cohesive sound.
And all
this is to be done without words… only through my presence, intent, and nonverbal movement
and touch within the group…
Is
this going to be hard for me? YES!!!
So, why attempt it? What if I
fail?
There
are so many people who live their lives unaware of others. Why can’t I blend in with them and be one of them?
Wouldn’t
it be easier for me if I could just close myself off and only focus on my time
in the spotlight? Why should I put my
energy out there to make the group sound better? What’s in it for me? Why extend myself in this manner?
The answer is simple... but hard to achieve.
It's because not to do so would display the unwillingness to extend myself to others.
It would be a barrier to
spiritual growth. It would be the
opposite of love.
And that's not me...
“To whom much is given, much is
expected.”
.
As we progressed through this
game, we reached higher and higher levels together. Our fantasy world
became real to us. We shared ourselves, first, through the game and,
then, through online chats and webcam meetings. 
